Overnight Underground News May 1st 2020


The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines:

Joe says he’s an innocent man. Trump claims Covid and China rink, ah link. Illinois Governor gets foot in mouth disease. Michigan goes nuts and India invents giant Covid tongs. These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground.  I’m John Ford.  

It ain’t so says Joe

Presumptive Presidential Democratic Nominee Joe Biden released a statement Friday morning that the allegations of sexual impropriety with Tara Reade are, quote: “They aren’t true. This never happened.”  Biden has been under the microscope from his political enemies and others claiming that this proves the hypocrisy within the Democratic party and the “me too” movement. Of course, yesterday’s tautology apologetic by speaker Nancy Pelosi didn’t help.  Nancy Pelosi yesterday defending Joe Biden from sexual assault accusations. Here’s Biden on MSNBC’s Morning Joe on Friday:  wait, I’m sorry, that’s the wrong one. .

https://twitter.com/MSNBC/status/1256195709101015040

Yesterday, MSNBC’s Chris Hayes found himself on the wrong end of a rabid Twitter mob, which is always a pain in the patooty. as #FireChrisHayes was trending like wildfire.  The cable talking head is the first prime-time host on the left leaning MSNBC to cover Tara Reade’s sexual assault allegations against Biden, and Biden’s supporters, well, they didn’t like it. Biden had been seen as the “safe” choice among the Democratic candidates, but with this sexual assault allegation, his rambling, sometimes crazy and mumbling speech  and little things like confusing his wife and his sister, there’s no doubt that Hillary is cowering in the corner salavatin’ like a rabid dog and just waiting for the right time to pounce. 

President claims China linked to pandemic

The President claims to have seen evidence that links a lab in Wuhan, China to the start of the coronavirus pandemic. (bite-trump 1) Trump at yesterday’s new circus. When he was pressed about the proof, he responded, quote: “I can’t tell you that. I am not allowed to tell you that.” President Trump also said this concerning any retribution towards China.  Of course, China has denied any involvement. Who are you kidding, we all know Bill Gates paid China and Nancy Pelosi to cook it up in her million dollar refrigerator so ice cream futures would spike.  Now comes word that Trump is going to hold China accountable for Covid 19. CNN reports the punishment could include possible sanctions and cancellation of US debt. 

Stay at home and mind your own business

Well it seems that a politician sticking his foot in his or her mouth is becoming a daily occurrence here on the overnight underground. Please welcome the Governor of Illinois to the club.  During an Illinois coronavirus press conference, Governor Pritzker said this when asked by a reporter why his wife wasn’t following his and the states stay at home order,  Reports are that the Governor’s wife hopped on a plane for a little vacay in  Florida. The Governor, According to  Chicagobusiness.com, owns a twelve million dollar horse farm in Florida which he purchased back in 2018. Of course the best answer he could have given would have been, “She’s staying at home, just a different home. We own a whole bunch of em.”

Michigan protests lockdown

Things continue to get dicey in Michigan. On Thursday hundreds of protesters, many with big, black scary rifles, stormed Michigan’s capitol, protesting the state’s lockdown. Protesters inside the Michigan capitol house. All this was happening while the Legislature was debating on whether to extend the Governor’s state of emergency in response to the pandemic. The Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer has since used her executive privilege to extend the state’s coronavirus emergency lockdown. Something tells me this may not end well. Some of the protesters attempted to gain entry to the House floor but were blocked by state police and the sergeants-at-arms. Anti-lockdown protests are also scheduled today in Chicago, Los Angeles and New York. Should be fun 

Texas opens up

The good news is, today Texas ends it’s stay at home lockdown. The bad news, Texas coronavirus fatalities hit a one-day high, one day before reopening. Fifty new deaths were reported on Thursday, that’s just, as I just said,  one day before Governor Greg Abbott’s stay-at-home order was set to die. The Texas Democratic Party issued a statement attacking Abbott’s decision to reopen. The Overnight Underground was able to obtain this exclusive audio from deep within the halls of the Texas Democratic party headquarters, concerning Governor Abbot.  The Republican response.  Of course, that was 

Markets take a dive

The markets are feeling a little crappy today, with the Dow falling over four hundred points and Amazon and Apple leading the tech losers. Of course, all this could change at the drop of a hat. The down trend comes following Wall Street’s biggest monthly surge in over three decades.  

Giant tongs for arrestin’

One of the issues police have been wrestling with is how to arrest the evil doers and law breakers without becoming infected with the coronavirus while nabbing the perp. In India, police have come up with a novel idea, giant tongs. The po po in India are tackling social distancing and lawbreakers by using a  6-foot pole with a giant claw at the end to collar a suspect.  That’s the actual sound of said giant claw. The police officer dons a surgical mask, clamps the device around the perp’s waist and guides the criminal into a pickup truck before taking him or her to the pokie. 

https://twitter.com/DgpChdPolice/status/1254016219834916866

Better than gargling with a dildo

Steely Dan frontman Donald Fagen told Rolling Stone that he is weathering the pandemic by gargling clorox under a sunlamp.  When asked if he had anything to say to his fans, The Nightfly responded, quote: “What can I say? The Prez has a loose wig and it’s tragic. So dig the docs and hunker down in your hidey-holes until they say it’s cool to hit the downbeat.” Hey, Mister Fagen, go drink your big black cow and get outta here. 

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