Overnight Underground News 02-05-2020


The State of the Dis-Union and Rush, Pelosi Rips Trump a New One, The Road to the SuperBowl is the Road to Hell, Hot Dogs and Bacon Death Again, I Nazi that Coming from a Mile Away, Plague Ships are Back!

President Donald Trump delivered the state of the union, said everything is hunky dorky, had Melina give Rush Limbaugh the Presidential Medal of Freedom amid applause and boos,  all the while holding back the puke in the back of her throat, Pelosi tore up the transcript of Trump’s speech. Rush was visibly choked up, and I don’t think it was due to his recently diagnosed lung cancer. Rush joins the other Presidential Medal of Freedom winners which includes Rosa Parks, Mother Therisa, William F Buckley and Andy Grifith.

Melania Trump Awards Rush Limbaugh Presidential Medal Of Freedom At Trump State Of The Union Address

Watch: First Lady Melania Trump gave conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh the Presidential Medal of Freedom on President Donald Trump’s behalf during his annual State of the Union address.

 Today, the Senate is expected to vote on the Trump impeachment, and let the little bugger get away scott free. Meanwhile, Maine Republican Susan Collins stiltedly mumbled that the crime doesn’t fit and she would acquit, (byte)  Collins also stated that she would feel better about life, the universe and everything if President Trump would apologize for his alleged wrongdoings. The President said (Byte). Ever get the impression that all this political theatre, on both sides of the isle is all just an intricate and infuriating kubiki mind fuck? Yea, me too. The real question is just what are the outrage folks going to find to be pissed at on Twitter now? 

State of the Union address: Trump hits grand slam, while Pelosi just looks looks sad

Wow, that was one hell of a State of the Union Address. President Trump seized the center with a powerful, patriotic and utterly centrist speech. And then House Speaker Nancy Pelosi reinforced his message with her oh-so-symbolic ripping up of the text.

The Superbowl halftime show may be damning us all to hell. I know right, I’ve seen it and it’s just slightly more entertaining than sticking needles in your eyes.  But the total damnation in question is the promulgation of activist Dave Daubenmire who spent a large part of his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast lambaisting the National Football League for broadcasting unsolicited “crotch shots” into his home during the Super Bowl halftime show, thereby, he pontificates, is jeopardizing his eternal salvation. Geeze, some folks would consider crotch shots part of a healthy diet of earthly salvation. (byte) Dave does seem to be serious, he was trolling for a lawyer to take on his case against Pepsi, the NFL, and his local cable company (otherwise known as the unholy broadcast trinity) on his behalf.

No more hot dogs and bacon for you citizens. According to new research, two hot dogs or four pieces of bacon increase your risk of heart attack and death. Wait a second, I can see the risk of heart attack being raised, but risk of death? I’m pretty sure the death rate is still one per person, so yea, risk of death is 100 percent no matter how you slice your delicious smoked processed meats . Anyway, MarketWatch reports that the findings that were published in the JAMA Internal Medicine journal this week, suggests that if you eat  two servings of red meat and/or processed meat each week, you are screwed. Either that or wait for a new study to come out next week that contradicts this one. 

Two hot dogs or four pieces of bacon a week raise your risk of heart disease, death

By Sorry, steak lovers, but you can stick a fork in that study that said you can continue eating red meat. A new analysis of almost 30,000 people published in the JAMA Internal Medicine journal this week suggests that eating two servings of red meat and processed meat each week is in fact “significantly associated” with death and heart disease.

Today’s person who just doesn’t get it, comes from Esquire Magazine writer Nick Schager. Schager, lambaists the Academy Awards for nominating JoJo Rabbit for Best Picture in the upcoming awards. Schager calls it the, Softening of Nazism and quote this “Oscar nominee is a lie, and a detestable one at that, especially in this day and age of rising white nationalism at home and abroad.” Dude chill, it’s called satire, and the best way to deal with detestable ideologies. I would suggest a quick viewing of Chaplin’s “The Great DIctator” and Mel Brooks, “The Producers.” And let’s face it, Nazi’s are funny, ever take a good look at their uniforms? Esquire Magazine used to be written and read by real men, when did it become the woke girly-man magazine?

‘Jojo Rabbit’ Softens Nazism. It’s the Last Thing We Need in a Best Picture Winner.

This article is part of Esquire’s Oscars series in which we consider if each Best Picture nominee at 2020 Academy Awards should or should not take home the night’s highest honor. Read the rest of the Oscars series here.

Hey, plague ships are a thing now. Not one but two cruise ships are being quarantined due to fears over passengers with coronavirus. CNN is reporting that somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty three hundred passengers are being held on two different cruise ships. Passengers aboard the Princess cruise ship in Yokohama, Japan are being screened for the deadly coronavirus and tests are pending on hundreds of cruise ship vacationers who had symptoms or contact with a man diagnosed with the virus after leaving the ship in Hong Kong. I say, it’s nothing a good torpedo won’t fix. 

3,700 people are quarantined on a Princess cruise ship in Japan over coronavirus

About 3,700 passengers and workers on a Princess cruise ship in Yokohama, Japan are under quarantine for up to two weeks because of the deadly coronavirus. Tests were pending on 273 people aboard the ship who had symptoms or had contact with a man who was diagnosed with the virus after leaving the ship in Hong Kong.

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Overnight Underground News 02-04-2020


Is the the Iowa caucus or cockup? Bloomberg calls for 5 Trillion Dollars in new taxes. Coronavirus spread by farts? Facebook now old enough to drive. Shut up and take my money.

The much awaited Iowa caucuses are over, kinda’ and the winner is… no one knows. Are the problems just simple reporting issues, or a total meltdown of the entire system? No one is completely sure. But we do know that there are no actual results in sight. The candidates are pretty much all claiming victory and have already packed their bags for Vermont. Did someone say fiasco? I’m sure someone did somewhere. You gotta’ love it, Rolling Stone is calling it Dempacolypse. But I prefer the Iowa Cockup. If you predicted before the Iowa Caucus, that well, someone was going to win, boy I’ll bet you feel like a real idiot now. There’s some tin foil hat level shit goin’ on here folks.

Dempocalypse Now

One candidate claimed victory before a single vote was officially reported. Another released his own internal and incomplete election results. A surrogate for a third candidate on the integrity of the vote. The state party tried to assure the public that the problems were “not a hack or an intrusion.”

In other news about these attention whores we call politicians, “moderate” Democrat candidate Mike Bloomberg is proposing 5 trillion dollars in new taxes on business and the wealthy. Seems like a sure path to the White House to me. Election years are so much fun!

TaxProf Blog: NY Times: Bloomberg Proposes $5 Trillion In Taxes On The Rich And Corporations

New York Times, Bloomberg Proposes $5 Trillion in Taxes on the Rich and Corporations: Mike Bloomberg, the billionaire presidential hopeful, is including more new taxes in his plan than his moderate rival Joe Biden but less than Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren. Former Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg of New York…

What do the coronavirus and flatulence have in common? They are both under the eye of big brother in China. According to The Global Times, temperature sensors set up in airports and train stations are also monitoring farts. Are Chinese authorities worried about coronavirus being spread by farting or just interested in making funny infrared fart tapes? Are social credits lost when caught farting by big brother? Film at 11.

Global Times on Twitter

Can’t help farting? Well, better try harder, because infrared temperature sensors recently installed in airports and train stations to monitor temperatures of passengers amid #coronavirus outbreak can screen them all https://t.co/70ncE1HqYr

Facebook is officially 16-years-old today. Of course back then, it was called ‘the facebook’ and only available to college students. Now with only two years left until facebook can head out on its own and attend college away from the Zuck, maybe we should demand Mark take away the keys and tell Facebook to go to it’s room. Or just let it go wild with its friends and influence another election. Oh god, in two more years it can vote. Let that sink in.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/tech/remember-facebook-looked-like-this-21423057

Pizza hut is creating a Kentucky Fried Popcorn Chicken pizza. The Pie comes complete with mozzarella cheese, KFC gravy and sweet corn. But before you head down to The Hut and tell the nice cashier to shut up and take your money, according to Delish, the pie is only available in England. WTF? Pizza and KFC bump uglies and I can only get it in the UK? For Trump’s sake, I’ll bet they even call it the ‘Merica meal.

Pizza Hut Is Putting KFC Popcorn Chicken, Gravy, And Corn On A Pizza Pie And I’m Into It

It seems like 2020 is already the year of interesting, and sometimes questionable, pizza toppings, what with kiwi pizza taking over the internet. The latest in new takes on pizza toppings is something I can definitely get behind and is a mash-up of all the best foods from KFC and Pizza Hut.

Check out this episode!