Overnight Underground News May 29th 2020


The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

How to tell the difference between rioting and protesting. The spread of unrest unsettles a nation. Trump and Twitter take off the gloves. Kim Jung Un battles sex and a new meaning for the term, dead letter office

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Looting and Burning day three

If you’ve been paying attention, it now appears that burning and looting is quickly becoming a new national pastime. Protests and riots spread across the US last night from their epicenter in Minneapolis. In the Twin Cities looting, burning and general mayhem trumped the rule of law, as angry and lawless citizens continued their revenge against the police and their city over the death of George Floyd. The National Guard rolled into Minneapolis Friday morning following a night that saw more buildings, businesses and a police station in flames and curiously the arrest of a CNN broadcaster. Meanwhile, according to NBC host Craig Melvin, NBC has banned it’s reporters from using the word ‘riot’ to describe their coverage of the Minneapolis happy fun time party happening on that city’s streets. 

As the soldiers rolled in to protect firefighters Friday morning, the rioters and protesters appeared to mostly call it a day and blended back into the shadows of a city in cinders. Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, although he might consider changing his name to Jacob Fail after three days of conflagration and anarchy in Minneapolis.

Protests and riots spread

Protests and rioting spread in the US to New York City’s Union Square, Portland, Denver, Louisville and Columbus, Ohio where the unrest targeted the Ohio Statehouse, with rioters  smashing windows and gaining entry to the building before police turned them back. In Louisville, seven protesters were wounded from gunfire. Chances are it’s not going to be a pleasant weekend in America. I’m not sure what all this rioting and looting is supposed to accomplish, it’s never solved anything in the past and arguably has only made many racial issues in the US even more volatile. In the end all the violence and lawlessness may only lead to a political knee jerk to the right for safety and rule of law,  and the reelection of Trump. 

The Trump Twitter showdown continues

Trump Tweeted his reaction to the unrest in the country and the post was first flagged by Twitter and later hidden by the Twitterati for quote, “glorifying violence” and breaking the twatter terms of service. The twort from the Prez drew criticism, come on, he attracts criticism like a fly to shit, for allegedly being insensitive to the situation in Minneapolis and calling for violent action against looters. Yesterday Trump signed an executive order targeting social media, and Twitter in particular for regulation from the government over what The President see’s as censorship of the right on the platform. The real sin here is no one, on the right or left, is really talking about free speech, just more regulation from the government, specifically to section 230 of the so-called communications decency act. That law and section allows online platforms to ‘moderate’ user content and at the same time avoid the liability of being a publisher.  All that being said, let’s face it, this whole ‘social media’ thing was an incredibly stupid and delusional idea in the first place, it’s turned into an endless fountain of vapid  flowing bullshit. 

Waters blames Trump

California Congresswoman Maxine Waters told TMZ on Thursday that she places the blame for the killing of Floyd Geroge in Minneapolis squarely on the shoulders of President Trump. That should garner Waters’ a few more votes in her district.  

Reporter’s revenge

The next time you think it would be fun to jump in front of a reporter’s camera while they’re  doing a live-shot and shouting whatever the hell you want, you might want to think again about your cunning plan. An Illinois man was busted after allegedly grabbing a TV reporter during a live broadcast and yelling “F–k her right in the p—y,”  The New York Post reports that WGN-TV reporter Gaynor Hall was giving a weather update when 20-year-old Eric Farina ran in front of the camera, grabbed hall and uttered the phrase that must be beeped. Farina was charged with battery and disorderly conduct and later released on a twenty five hundred dollar bond.

Kim Jung Un sexy man

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has moved on from his war against the Sea of Japan to a war on sex. According to The Express, the North Korean dictator believes that there is a problem with “immorality” among the country’s teenagers, and is declaring their “impure acts” to be treasonous. Kim is peeved over the alleged behaviour of sex craved teenagers and is blaming “decadent capitalist influences”, including pornography that has been smuggled in over the Chinese border. In the words of Patrick Henry, “If this be treason, make the most of it” 

Dead letter office

Talk about the dead letter office. A woman in Montana is claiming that the remains of her dead husband are lost in the limbo of the postal system. Christine Tyler told KTVQ News that her husband died from coronavirus in a Spanish hospital and now she’s trying to track down her husband’s Donald’s remains which she says appear to be lost in the mail. Maybe Donald is secretly infiltrating the postal system to commit dead letter voter fraud. 

Check out this episode!

Overnight Underground News May 28th 2020


The Overnight Underground News Podcast, now the headlines: 

More rioting in Minneapolis and protests in LA & Memphis. Troubles for democracy continue in Hong Kong. The Trump Twitter wars begun they have. GE turns out the lights & bears like doughnuts, who knew!

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Minneapolis burns

The second night of unrest in Minneapolis sure looked like a bonafide riot. Angered over the death of George Floyd at the hands of the Minneapolis PD, protesters turned into rioters and looted a Target, burned down multiple buildings including an auto parts store and a low income housing project. Business owners brandished firearms to protect their stores from looting and at least one shooting death has been reported. According to a reporter from the Star-Tribune, the shooting death allegedly involved a pawn shop owner shooting a looter. So what’s next? Probably the National Guard. The Minneapolis Mayor reportedly has asked Governor Tim Walz to deploy the Guard. The Governor has yet to publicly respond to the request. It’s unfortunate, but some people just want to watch the world burn. 

LA squirms

On the left coast, protesters in solidarity with their brethren in Minneapolis shut down the 101 freeway and smashed windows on a CHP patrol car. One person was injured when he fell from the hood of a patrol car as it sped from the scene after being mobbed by demonstrators. The Protesters later dispersed and it was all over by six thirty, no arrests were made. NBC Los Angeles also reported further protests in downtown LA later in the night. Protests also took place in Memphis, and arrests were reportedly made there. According to Fox News, President Trump has ordered the FBI and Justice Department to investigate the death of Floyd. What a year 2020 is turning out to be. I don’t even want to think about what’s next. 

Hong Kong on the skids

On the other side of the globe, things are not much better. Unrest boiled over in Hong Kong following the Chinese government rubber stamping the new Hong Kong security law. The new law authorizes the commie pinko Chinese government to prevent, quote: “secession, subversion, terrorism and foreign interference” in the formerly semi-autonomous city. The new law pretty much officially ends the  “one country-two systems” rule in the former British colony. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Wednesday that Hong Kong is no longer autonomous from China. (captain obvious) So what’s next? Possible sanctions imposed by the US on China and in the end, an erosion of Hong Kong as a financial hub as investors see the city as being a risky place to invest. 

 

The Twitter wars begun they have

 

The Trump Twitter war continues again today. Following the companies “fact checking” of Trumps twats yesterday, the President said he is set to announce an executive order to ‘regulate’ social media platforms. Yea, good luck with that. (Byte-airplane-tell you boot good luck were all counting on you)  The President Tweeted this morning, (What the hell we supposed to do you moron), that today, quote: “will be a Big Day for Social Media and FAIRNESS!” You know if he holds a press conference and starts demanding the government liberate compuserve, we’re all flucked. A leak of Trump’s alleged executive order has shown up on social media, that link is of course, available at overnightunderground.com

Facebook’s Zuckerberg just had to get in on the action too, telling Fox News that private companies shouldn’t be ‘the arbiter of truth’. Seems to me that Fakebook may not want to be the arbiter of truth but it sure looks like they would love to become overlords of their own little de facto internet. 

In other amusing Twatter news, Newsweek is reporting that Twitter’s head of site integrity compared Trump’s senior counselor Kellyanne Conway to the Nazi government’s Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels in a 2017 Tweet. I wonder if the department of site integrity will fact check that one? Twitter head of site integrity, talk about the propaganda pot calling the kettle black. 

Joltin’ Joe Biden ain’t

Here’s our audio sound byte of the day, and it’s a quickie. It comes to us from presumptive democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, mixing up his sports analogies. It’s a swing and a punt for Biden. 

Turn out the lights

After over a hundred years of GE is getting out of the light bulb business. Ars Technica reports that GE is selling off its last consumer-facing business. The Wall Street Journal notes that the deal is valued at about two hundred and fifty million dollars. All this begs the questions: Does General Electric still do or make anything electric? And what about their promise of bringing good things to life? 

The Hot Pocket bank heist

Most people breaking into a bank to steal the money.  Like famed bank robber Willie Sutton once said when asked why he robbed banks, “Because that’s where the money is.” News 10 San Diego reports that a man apparently broke into a Wells Fargo bank Wednesday morning just so he could heat up his Hot Pocket sandwiches. That’s the alleged perp talking with a News 10 reporter as he was led handcuffed from the bank. You know, you just can’t make this shit up. 

Donuts and bears oh my

How did police in Fort Myers, Florida trap a black bear that was roaming the downtown streets of the city? According to the News Press, why with donuts of course. The po po used their trusty supply of Krispy Kreme’s to lure the bear so wildlife biologists could nab the fury perp. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Officer Adam Brown. I could go for the low hanging fruit here and point out that it was a black bear, so the cops could have just shot him or choked him out, but I won’t. 

Check out this episode!

Overnight Underground News May 27th 2020


The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines: 

Death and riots in Minneapolis. Protests and tear gas in Hong Kong. Twitter and Trump are playing a game of twitter chicken.  Prostitutes face coronavirus restrictions. Squirt gun baptisms and getting bit by a black widow won’t give you superpowers. 

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Minneapolis goes nuts 

The video of a Minneapolis Cop kneeling on the neck of a handcuffed man next to a police car is honestly just too brutal to watch. Especially when you consider the man, gasping and pleading with the police for breath, died following the callous treatment by the cops. The Star Tribune reports that four officers have been fired following the death of 47-year-old George Floyd. Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey. Twenty four hours following the death of Floyd, on the streets of Minneapolis police and protesters clashed within a mele of bottles, rubber bullets and tear gas. A police precinct and multiple police vehicles were trashed in the rioting. The sound of protesters breaking shit recorded by KMSP TV. The FBI and Minnesota state authorities are reportedly investigating Floyd’s death. 

Hong Kong’s not so quiet riot

Meanwhile on the other side of the planet similar scenes played out on the streets of Hong Kong with clashes between pro-democracy protesters and police. That’s the sound of Hong Kong police breaking shit and shooting pepper guns at protesters. The BBC reports hundreds of people were arrested as Hong Kong citizens took to the streets to demonstrate against a proposed Chinese national security law. Some Hong Kongers compared the scene on the streets of the city to marshal law, with stop and search checkpoints set up in the city and riot police taking a zero tolerance stance. Chief Executive and Beijing mouthpiece Carrie Lam doing her best to assure Hong Kong’s citizens that the Chinese commies are just well meaning really nice guys.  Chinese authorities have said that they will act against foreign interference in Hong Kong and state run media has called US threats of sanctions  a quote, ‘nothingburger.’  Wouldn’t a nothing noodle be more apropos? Speaking of burgers, according to the South China Morning Post, Chinese authorities have shut down a WeChat conspiracy social media account claiming the US was using dead bodies to make hamburgers. The world just gets a little stranger and scarier every single day. 

Trump and Twitter spar

Twitter and the Prez are still going at each other again today. For the first time Twitter added a  ‘Unsubstantiated’ warning to two of President Trump’s Tweets. On Tuesday, Trump twatted that supplying voters with mail-in ballots would be, quote: “substantially fraudulent.” Twitter flagged the posts  awith a warning that Trump was making a quote, “unsubstantiated claim.” Trump’s campaign manager released a statement criticizing Twitter’s policy. And so it goes, this should sell a lot of popcorn.

Prostitutes get Covid restrictions

Well we didn’t see this one coming. In Switzerland sex workers will limit customers to two positions which will allegedly ‘minimise the risk of transmitting coronavirus.’ According to the Daily Mail, the guidelines will only include sex positions which allow for safe distances between faces and the washing of bed sheets between each customer. That sounds like a lot of loads, of laundry. We’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. 

Squirt gun Baptisms are a thing now

Last week we had the story about the priest using a squirt gun to bless parishioners during holy week. This week, a priest in the US  is using a water pistol to baptise an infant. And you know, from the twatted picture, you can tell that Father Flatsky, or whatever the hell his name is, has some range time under his cloak with a pretty good weaver stance. Another priest in Canada has kicked it up a notch, it appears he’s using a super soaker for infant baptism. I’m sure Republican Jesus does indeed approve.

Cosmic donuts

Astronomers have captured images of a donut-shaped ‘cosmic ring of fire’ that existed some eleven billion years ago.  According to the study published in the journal Nature, the ring of fire cosmic donut galaxy formed when two separate galaxies smashed into one another. Think of it like a kind of cosmic copulation or an intergalactic t bone. 

Paging Peter Parker

OK dumbass, having a black widow spider bite you will not give you superpowers. According to Telemundo, three Bolivian brothers were hospitalized after prodding a black widow spider with a stick to get the nasty little bastard to bite them. Of course, they all thought the bite would turn them into Spider-Man, silly boys, we all know that it only works with a radioactive spider. In fact, the black widow bites turned them into crying twits writhing in pain. To make a long story even longer, the trio spent close to a week in the hospital recovering from the spider bites. 

It’s a poopy burger stand

In Clearfield, Pennsyltucky Billy’s Burgerland is taking some sh*t for opening up the restaurant and resuming dine in service. WJAC reports a man threw a bottle of sewage at the restaurant in retaliation for reopening.  According to the owner of Billy’s Burgerland, a man asked one of the waitresses if they were in compliance with the CDC’s guidelines and then threw a mountain dew bottle full of sewage and replied let’s see if you get any customers now. Maybe they could change to Chinese food and start serving poo poo platters. Besides, someone told me the place might be a dump anyway. Hey I’m here all week, try the veal.

Check out this episode!

Overnight Underground News May 26th 2020


The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines:

Rat armies are invading our cities. Fun, sun and guns at the beach for Memorial Day. The name Karen is now officially a racial slur.  Oh great, now there is coronavirus ache and Larry King inks five million dollar podcast deal.

All this and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Rat armies are here

If the rona’ doesn’t get you, the raging hordes of “roving rat armies” will. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is taking the leap from bacteria and virus oversight to rodent control. As reported last week on The Overnight Underground, with so many humans on lockdown, rats are having a field day, especially in densely packed cities. The CDC is advising American’s to be on the lookout for rodents that are exhibiting unusual or aggressive rodent behavior. Which begs the question, what exactly is unusual behavior for a rat? Bobby Corrigan, an urban rodentologist, told NBC News quote: “So these rats are fighting with one another, now the adults are killing the young in the nest and cannibalizing the pups.” In New Orleans, during the lockdown rodents literally took over Bourbon Street, some even seen carrying giant frozen daiquiris. New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell. No matter what, there’s always one kind of vermin or another perambulating down Bourbon Street

Guns and fun for Memorial day

And what a Memorial Day weekend it was. American’s headed to the beaches for some fun, sun and of course gunfire over the holiday weekend. Myrtle Beach and Daytona Beach both experienced the firearm fun by otherwise mostly law observing citizens.  WESH TV 2 reported that six people were shot and wounded near the boardwalk in Daytona Beach. Near  Myrtle Beach, two people were killed and five others hurt when gunfire erupted at a Memorial weekend party, according to Fox Carolina. And according to Seven News Chicago, there were ten homicides over the weekend and nearly fifty shot. The moron index was bending the needle over the weekend here in the US of A. 

Twitter is apologizing for Trump

Trump has Tweeted in the past about the death of  a woman who died in the office of then GOP Representative Joe Scarborough twenty years ago. The AP is reporting that now the husband of that woman, Lori Kaye Klausutis, is demanding that Twitter delete Trump’s tweets that allegedly suggest Scarborough murdered her. In a letter to Twitter’s commander in twat, Jack Dorsey, the man said the tworts violate Twitter’s community rules and terms of service. In a response, the Twiddling company said that they were, quote: “deeply sorry about the pain these statements, and the attention they are drawing, are causing the family.” The company stopped short of any censorship or statements generally regarding Trump’s Tweets.

Michigan Governor gets a taste of her own medicine

Here’s today’s story regarding glass houses and stone throwers and all that. In the last week or so, the Governor of Michigan and some of the state’s citizens have been at odds over the power of the Governor and the lockdown. Even to the point of some armed Michiganders storming the Capitol building in Lansing. Well now it seems that despite Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s push for some of the harshest lock-downs in the US, her family, it seems, feels entitled enough to ignore the rules. Whitmer did recently ease some lockdown restrictions for Memorial Day weekend. She said in a news conference, quote: “if you don’t live in these regions … think long and hard before you take a trip into them. Don’t descend on Traverse City from all regions of the state.” Well, Three days later, according to the Detroit News, a marina owner in the Traverse City area posted on Facebook that the governor’s husband, Marc Mallory, had asked the marina to get their boat in the water before Memorial Day. Now the Governor appears to be all wet. 

Woman calls 911 because she sees a black man in the park

Let’s see what else we have in the outrage column for today. Have you heard about the story of the white woman walking her dog without a leash in Central Park when a black man asks her to put the dog on a leash. The woman then goes apoplectic and calls 911. The woman has since issued an apology, had her dog taken from her by animal rescue and placed on leave from her job. Amy Cooper, the dog walking woman in question, told CNN that her life is being destroyed over the video of the incident.  Job well done all the way around. You know, that’s the kind of schadenfreude we need, to see some woman’s life destroyed always makes you feel better about your own life.  The whole thing is just such a non-story, but it’s getting national attention, because someone is outraged and we demand someone suffer for it. People, mind your own damn business and just treat each other like human beings, or better yet, like a good dog. 

Coronavirus acne

There is a new malady striking mask wearers, and it’s name is ‘maskne.’ According to Fox News, maskne is acne that forms under the areas of your face that are covered by a mask. It seems, when you wear a mask, you are essentially sealing in your breath. This creates a moist, humid environment leading to irritation, rashes and acne. It’s kind of like a diaper rash for your face. By tomorrow latest, I want to see everyone applying butt paste to their faces stat. 

Covid-19 blackouts could hit cities

The next coronavirus related horse shit we might have to deal with this summer? Why rolling blackouts of course. According to The Daily Beast, yea I know, it’s the Daily Beast. Now that so many people are working from home, air conditioning use may spike during the summer causing strains on the nation’s grids from sea to shining sea. Just shove a snow cone down your shorts. 

Face mask bikinis are now a thing

A performance artist in LA decided standing out front of a Trader Joe’s wearing a bikini made entirely of face masks was the perfect way to protest the coronavirus lockdown. The Free Press Journal has the eye bleach primed photos if you just have to see them. The face mask wearing ding dong wrote in a Fakebook post that she believes coronavirus is a hoax created to erode freedoms, forcing people to wear masks in public and some other wackadoodle notions. And like with everyone else these days there is outrage over her stunt, with people responding to her Fakebook post of the event over her misuse of personal protective equipment and others calling her a “Karen.” Honestly, when did calling a white woman a “Karen” become an acceptable racial slur? Where’s the outrage over that?

Panty face masks are now a thing. 

Maybe “Karen” should have sent a woman in Ukraine an extra face mask or two. The Daily Star reports that a woman in Kiev, when told she would not be waited on at a business unless she was wearing a face mask, proceed to drop her pants, whipped off her undies and put said panties over her punim and of course then proceeded to use them as a face mask. Talk about getting your knickers in a twist. 

Larry King still alive

You know Joe Rogan I can understand getting a multi-million dollar contract, but Larry King?! It seems Larry King just inked a five million dollar podcast deal. I’ll bet most people thought he was already dead and anyone under forty, their response would undoubtedly be “Larry who.” According to Variety, The hour-long podcast will feature guests from pop culture, sports, music and comedy. The guy must have pictures of someone or something. Five million bucks? Sources say the name of the new podcast is, The Millionth Question. There is no truth to the rumor that “The Ninth Divorce” was also in the running. 

Check out this episode!

Overnight Underground News May 22nd 2020


The Overnight Underground News Podcast and some things to know today:

Trump will order flags to fly at half mast over covid-19. Caesars Palace and the Flamingo will be the first casinos to open in Vegas. China jockeys for total Hong Kong makeover, ah takeover. A Pakistani airliner has crashed killing at least a hundred and the man who filmed the Ahmaud Arbery shooting is arrested for murder.

It’s the Overnight Underground News, and I’m John Ford.  

Trump and Michigan AG go at it

The President and the Michigan Attorney General are trading verbal blows over Trump’s decision not to wear a mask. Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel played the Trump card and made numerous scathing Twitter posts overnight calling Trump a “petulant child.” What’s alit all about? Trump not wearing a face mask at a Ford assembly plant. Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel on CNN.  Trump’s response? He fired back in a tweet calling Nessel a, quote: “”Do nothing A.G. of the Great State of Michigan.” Honestly, I think they both sound like petulant children. Such is the state on the American political stage in the year of our lord, two thousand and twenty. 

Trump definitely maybe on his tests

 

Let’s slide this little item in, the sound byte of the day. It’s none other than your President and mine, Bullwinkle J Trump responding to a reporter’s question about his controversial hydroxychloroquine treatment to ward off COVID-19. The President said this: Yea, I believe that’s a definite maybe. Could it be that during the test the nose swab rammed a little too far up the Presidential snoot and caused some more brain damage to the ol’ executive noodle. Just sayin’. 

But wait, we’ve also got another contender for the sound byte of the day, and it’s from none other than presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden.  Biden told African American radio host “Charlamagne tha God” on a Friday morning interview that if someone is having difficulty choosing between him and Trump then they “ain’t black.” You know, I think that one is better than this one from the other day. It’s a total race to the bottom with these two. Honestly, I think 

Churches essential

Friday President Trump played to his religious electorate and announced that his administration will deem “houses of worship” as essential businesses. The President went on to call out some Governors who have deemed liquor stores and abortion clinics as essential but still won’t allow churches to reopen. Hey, what about A-A meetings at the church, is that OK?

Mark Cuban calls Trump and Biden technologically illiterate

Rich guy Mark Cuban said pretty much the same thing to Sean Hannity the other night, that both Trump and Biden are bad choices for leader of the free world. What’s that all about? Cuban told CNBC he hasn’t ruled out an independent run for the White House in 2020. He went on to say that he believes both Biden and Trump are, quote: “technologically illiterate,” whatever that means. Unfortunately these days, technologically literate means knowing how to like on fakebook and retweet a cat video. One thing we know for sure is that Trump knows how to be the Twatter in chief and Biden… well, poor Uncle Joe is still movin’ kinda’ slow with his functions. We hear Biden still has trouble finding the “any” key and totally believes the slide out CD tray is indeed a cup holder.

Boiled babies, yum!

Just how far will some journalists go to double down just to make sure Trump doesn’t get reelected in November? Over at The Nation, journo Katha Pollitt seems to have the answer. Pollitt remarked in an article discussing the Joe Biden and Tara Reed scandal, that she would vote for good ol’ Uncle Joe even if he, quote: “boiled babies and ate them.” Maybe in next month’s issue, The Nation will print a good recipe. 

China parks death star over Hong Kong

First they infect the planet with their bat munchin’ pandemic, now the Chinese are set to use coronavirus to end Hong Kong as we know it. Remember the good old days and the  pro-democracy demonstrators in Hong Kong? The Chinese want everyone to forget they every happened and have crammed their new draconian “security law” down the throat of the Hong Kong electorate. This new law bypasses Hong Kong’s legislature by instituting a rarely used constitutional backdoor. (come on squeal) That is not actual audio from the Chinese oligarchy giving the good citizens of Hong Kong a good reaming, but it might as well be. Opposition lawmaker Dennis Kwok in Hong Kong. Look for the end of an open internet, Chinese secret police setting up shop in Hong Kong and anti-sedition laws to jail anyone who criticizes their Beijing overlords. Outside of a classical liberal democratic miracle, it looks like the party’s over in Hong Kong. No, I think I’m saying they are totalitarian kleptocratic bastards.

More murder charges in Arbery case

The Georgia man who filmed the shooting and death of Ahmaud Arbery has himself been arrested on murder charges. USA Today reports, William “Roddie” Bryan was charged with felony murder and criminal attempt to commit false imprisonment in Arbery’s shooting death. Bryan, had claimed he was only being a ‘good samaritan’ when he filmed Arbery’s death, but a newly released expanded version of the video apparently shows Bryan also chasing Arbery. Bryan then allegedly filmed while Arbery was shot dead.

San Francisco oldest gay bar has shuttered

Things are a little less fabulous in San Francisco today. The city’s oldest gay bar “The Stud” is calling it a day. The bar owner told KRON TV that due to declining revenues caused by coronavirus, they’ve decided to permanently close down their location in the Soma neighborhood.​ Too bad the place had to go down, I hear that before the pandemic, it was usually packed. 

Check out this episode!

Overnight Underground News May 21st 2020


The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines:

Unemployment is up again. Pelosi requests Trump go half mast. The latest trend in women’s panties and a glorious Florida man fight at Home Depot. 

Coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Jobless claims rise again

Well, here we go again. Another week, another jobless claim report from Uncle Sugar. Filings for unemployment insurance totaled just under two and a half million last week, that brings the total jobless filings during the coronavirus pandemic to around thirty eight and a half million. Although this won’t make the two and a half million who were handed their walking papers feel any better, this week’s claims were slightly smaller than predicted by the economic brain trust. It’s starting to look like next time grandpa lectures you on how hard they had it during the Great Depression, you may soon have the dispensation to officially call him a pussy.

New York City gets traffic!

Here’s one small inkling that life might be getting back to some semblance of normalcy in New York City. This morning traffic into the Lincoln Tunnel was backed up for about an hour coming in from Jersey. Next week, the City will undoubtedly experience two hour delays in hospital emergency rooms. 

The Hamptons’ millionaire squatters

I don’t think it’s supposed to work this way. New York has a non-eviction order in place due to the coronavirus crisis, which is great news for folks who lost their jobs and can’t make the rent. Maybe not so great for landlords, but that’s another story. Anyway, in the Hamptons, wealthy tenants in multi-million dollar mansions are using the law to squat and not pay rent in their seaside homes.  The Daily Mail reports New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s moratorium on rent payments will last through mid August. By then the Long Island summer rental market will be just about over. 

Flags at half mast?

Today’s big political attention whore move has reached Spinal Tap like levels (goes to 11). Pelosi and Schumer are requesting Trump to fly flags at half mast when the death toll from the pandemic reaches one hundred thousand in the US. Talking Points Memo reports the pandemic  duo sent the letter to his royal orangutan on Thursday requesting the move. Come on, Trump hasn’t flown anything over half mast since Marla Maples. 

Texas active shooter

With everyone locked indoors, we haven’t seen many active shooter stories in the news. That changed today, with one at a naval base in Corpus Christi, Texas. The US Navy Tweeted, yea even the mighty Navy has a fracking Twatter account, that an active shooter near Naval Air Station Corpus Christi has been neutralized. Numerous sources report that one security worker was injured in the incident and word is that  sailor is in good condition and is expected to be released later today. 

Home Depot paint fight

 

What’s better than a food fight? How about a paint fight! Four men at a Tampa Home Depot got into an altercation, over, well who the hell knows, it’s Florida after all. From the video, it’s hard to make out just what the men were fighting over, as they don’t appear to be speaking the English, but man let me tell you, the paint was flying. Maybe they were arguing over whether their paints should be shaken or stirred. That video, of course, available on today’s overnight underground dot com.

Where is Doctor Fauchi?

Paging Doctor Fauchi, where the hell are you. If you’re still watching one of the endlessly depressing news channels, you may be asking yourself, how did I get here. No, the real question is, where did Doctor Fauchi disappear to? CNN reports that Fauci  has been MIA from national television interviews over the last couple of weeks. His last interview was on May fourth with Chris Cuomo. Speculation is that with the White House’s communications team changing its PR strategy for the pandemic, Fauchi has been put on the back burner. 

Maybe he’s been busy designing women’s panties. Business Insider reports that an L-A based company is now selling women’s underwear emboldened with the names of Fauchi, Governor Cuomo and Gavin Newsom. According to Canva, that’s the company cashing in on those three sexy fellas, the panties are selling like hotcakes. You know, I’ve always wondered, just where is it that hotcakes sell so well. Not anywhere around here. Anyway, the names of the three amigos are displayed on the front of the panties just above the. I’m thinking it should be plastered over the.

Victoria’s Secret going down

In other underwear related news, Victoria’s Secret looks like it’s going bust. KIRO Seven News reports the skimpy clothing chain is closing nearly two hundred and fifty stores nationwide. The Parent company L Brands also announced the shuttering of fifty Bath and Bodyworks stores. 

Check out this episode!

Overnight Underground News May 20th 2020


The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines:

The never ending pandemic. The Black Panthers protest kung pow chicken. Death sentence by video chat and Joe Rogan is fracking rich.

These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Military says the pandemic may last until next summer

Who’s up for the pandemic lasting until next summer! Yea, I didn’t think so. The Website Task and Purpose have allegedly uncovered a leaked Pentagon memo that warns of a, quote: ‘real possibility’ of COVID-19 resurgence and the very real possibility of a vaccine not being available until the summer of 2021.  Army researchers have targeted a twelve to eighteen month timeframe for vaccine availability, but some experts say even that might not be enough.

Pandemic worst case scenario 

And the hits just keep on coming. A report from the University Of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School is pretty scary. Their model predicts COVID-19 cases will reach just under five and a half million with a death toll close to three hundred thousand by the end of July. Just for the record, this ominous model is based on all states fully reopening without any social distancing measures. So just stay the hell away from each other would you. Currently there are more than one and a half million cases and over ninety two thousand deaths across the US.

Trump sees quick economic turnaround

The White House on the other hand, is presently predicting a swift economic recovery, though some experts think the West Wing might just be on the dope. Reported in the Houston Chronicle, the Trump administration is conveying confidence that  “reopening” states will counter the economic damage caused Covid-19. Despite the shocking  increases in unemployment and small business closings, White House economists are crossing their fingers and rubbing their elephants, wait can I say that?  that the economy will roar back to life in the second half of this year. 

Those damn racist Chinese restaurants. 

Well this seems kind of stupid. The New Black Panther Party staged a demonstration in DC on Tuesday protesting what they say is China’s racist treatment of Africans during the coronavirus pandemic. That seems OK. The stupid part, they decided a Chinese takeout restaurant called Yum’s was the perfect spot to stage their protest. Mother Jones writer Stephanie Mencimer caught the picket and posted their protestation on Twitter. Here’s an edited bit of their demonstration, at least the part we could hear and possibly decipher. According to Mencimer, the restaurant, Yum’s is a, quote: “beloved DC institution, and home of the city’s signature dish: chicken wings and MAMBO sauce.” You know, you just can’t make this shit up.

Death by videoconference

Just imagine, receiving a death sentence via video chat. In what may be only the second time in history, Singapore’s Supreme Court sentenced a man to death over a Zoom video chat. Nine News Australia reports that a 37-year-old Malaysian national was sentenced to death by hanging for allegedly introducing two drug dealers to each other back in 2011. Wait a second, I think that’s the real story here, he was sentenced to death for making an introduction. And here in the US, we thought getting fired over Zoom was pretty harsh. 

Rioting in France continues

Oh those wacky youth are back at it again in France, rioting and burning and such. Reuters reports Youths set cars alight in low-income housing estates in the Paris suburbs overnight. This latest round of mayhem is being attributed to the death of Sabri Choubi, an 18-year old who died last weekend in a motorcycle accident. Well that makes sense. 

Joe Rogan is rich

Holy contract on a cracker batman, Marketwatch is reporting that Joe Rogan’s deal with Spotify will net the podcaster a cool one hundred million bucks. Needless to say, it’s quite possibly the most expensive deal in the podcasting space. And here at the Overnight Underground, we’re happier than a pig in shit if someone just clicks the “buy me a coffee” link at overnightunderground dot com to send us five samolians. 

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Overnight Underground News May 19th 2020


The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines:

Trump is on drugs. Pelosi calls Trump a fattie. Invading Canadians taunt Biden. The government is gearing up for civil unrest. Trial by Zoom and the German’s are revolting.

These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Trump is on drugs

Though not insightful or beneficial for any of the world’s current troubles, we do have some mildly entertaining political drama going on today. First, President Trump told reporters during yesterday’s press conference that he has been taking the controversial drug hydroxychloroquine as a prophylactic against Covid-19. The press corps was aghast as Trump himself announced to the nation his use of the drug he believes will help ward off the virus. Trump’s opponents quickly jumped on the news with warnings that the drug’s use could cause serious heart trouble and other complications. Honestly, I don’t know why this is a problem for certain rabid sects of the Democratic party, seems to me they’ve been calling for Trump’s death since he entered office. 

PresidentPlump

Nancy Pelosi jumped on the President’s use of hydroxychloroquine on Monday’s Anderson Cooper segment on CNN. The Speaker of the House used the air-time on the cable network to essentially call Trump a fat bastard. The press corps is currently salivating like Pavlov’s dog in anticipation of  the Presidential sh*t storm that is sure to follow. Still, fans of the President know he’s not obese, he’s just got big bone spurs. 

Trump targets WHO

The President also threatened to completely defund the World Health Organization in an overnight Tweet. Trump warned he was considering dumping the W-H-O funding within thirty days if it does not, quote: “commit to major substantive improvements.” The pudgy orange one continues to accuse the W-H-O of being too soft on China. 

Biden ducks

Let’s see, what else we got here in the circus that is American politics. On Monday, Joe Biden moved out of his basement for his latest virtual town hall digital disaster. He decided to let the sunshine and fresh air in from his vestibule while he chattered at the American public. The only problem was, invading Canadian’s were very vocal with Biden’s streaming appearance.  Man, ol’ touchy feely Uncle Joe just can’t catch a break. 

Government prepares for civil unrest

It seems the US government has been preparing for domestic war. The Intercept is reporting that Uncle Sam has been busy ratcheting up security and spending to counter possible civil unrest during the coronavirus pandemic. The purchases include contracts for riot gear such as disposable handcuffs, gas masks, ballistic helmets, and riot gloves, along with protective equipment for federal police. Sounds reasonable, nothing to see here. 

The Germans are revolting

Speaking of unrest, it seems the German’s are revolting. The Daily Mail is reporting that Teutonic fury is being unleashed in Germany over lockdowns in that country. Thousands of protesters rallied in Stuttgart, Munich and Berlin to protest against Merkel and what some conspiracy theorists see as a plot by Bill Gates to vaccinate the masses. You know, you just can’t make this shit up. German police arrested protesters outside the Reichstag in Berlin. Please, just don’t start any fires, we all know how that turned out last time. 

Trial by Zoom

This next story should work out well. In Texas, they’re getting ready for their first Zoom trial. Reuters reports a Texas court is getting set to let jurors hear a case remotely using Zoom. The Collin County District Court on Monday picked a jury to hear the insurance dispute case by videoconference. The one-day trial is a summary jury trial, where jurors hear a condensed version of a case and deliver a non-binding verdict. The jury selection was live streamed over YouTube. Gee, what could possibly go wrong? 

Chinese are facing new lockdowns

Bloomberg News is reporting that China may be getting ready to lockdown cities in the north east of the country again. One hundred million Chinese are facing lockdowns for a second time  as a new and expanding cluster of coronavirus infections are again plaguing the region. Cities in the Jilin province have stopped train and bus service, shut schools and quarantined tens of thousands of people. Needless to say, the Chinese living in these areas are not happy. 

Stupid is as stupid does

There has been quite a spike in the moronic behavior index over the last few days. In Volusia County, Florida, the Sheriff’s Office had to break up a block party that numbered in the thousands. WFTV News reports police noted there were multiple arrests and numerous deputies were injured in altercations attempting to break up the melee. 

I say, why not hide your identity with a watermelon? That was the cunning plan hatched by two thieves in Charlottesville, Virginia. The Smoking Gun notes the two lads decided wearing hollowed-out watermelon rinds on their heads was the perfect disguise for stealing alcohol from a Virginia convenience store. Guy’s you’ve got it bass akwards, you put the booze in the watermelon, not your noggin you numbskulls.

In England all this lockdown was too much for one man in Devon. The Sun reports that when  the cops entered the man’s flat to bust him on drug charges, the unlucky lad scrambled to the roof of his apartment, completely nude, clutching his baggie of cannabis. The police were able to convince the man to later give himself up after they sealed off all of his escape routes from the roof. You know, naked in a fetal position rocking back and forth on your roof surrounded by police and cradling a bag of weed may not be the best way to go through life, son. 

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Overnight Underground News May 18th 2020


The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines:

Big gains on the Dow. White House wags its finger. Michigan’s squirt gun priest and your cat is a stone cold killer. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Big gains on the Dow

The Dow is kicking ass and taking names today, with US markets up over nine hundred points mid-day. CNBC reports the gains are due to the news that possible vaccines could be on the way for coronavirus. Massachusetts based Moderna has gone on record that early results from their Covid-19 trial vaccines are showing promise. All forty five participants in the trials developed antibodies against the virus.  Needless to say, Moderna’s stock price has also been a gainer today, up around forty percent. Can anyone say pump and dump? 

White House pointy little finger

The Trump White House is now pointing fingers at the CDC for failings in the battle against coronavirus. CNN reports that the finger wagging coming from the administration is squarely aimed as an rationalism  for the Covid-19 death toll.  White House Trade Advisor Peter Navarro on CNN. Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar also proposed yesterday that underlying health conditions was one reason for the lofty American death toll.

Communion squirt gun

The power of the squirt gun compels you. A priest at Saint Andrews Parish in Grosse Pointe, Michigan not only got into the spirit of the drive by church service, Father Tim Pelc took it a step further. NBC’s Today and other outlets are reporting that the priest, during holy week a little over a month ago, used a squirt gun to bless parishioners with holy water. (squirt squirt) Pelc said, quote: “”You can’t double dip into the holy water container. I thought, what could I do that would keep the quarantine restrictions going and give kids the experience of Easter?” Undoubtedly not the first time a priest gave the kids the old 

Enquiring Minds soon won’t know

We’re not quite sure how you are going to survive this next story, but The Daily Beast is reporting, that bastion of journalism, The National Enquirer, is about to shit the bed. How will we ever find out about UFO’s, Aliens and Obama, Elvis, Michael Jackson and OJ’s shoes if the Enquirer goes out of business? 

Your cat is a murderer

Your cat is a cold blooded killer. A new Australian study, as reported by LAD Bible, housecats who strut their stuff outside of the home, are stone cold killers. The study, published in Wildlife Research, notes that a single domesticated pet cat is capable of snuffing the lives of up to 186 reptiles, birds and mammals in just one year. Dalmer would have been envious.  In the lifetime of a cat, that’s over eight thousand victims snuffed out by your adorable little serial killer. Honestly, cat’s should be categorized as biological weapons and controlled by the Geneva Convention. 

Hey what happen’ to Fred Willard

Comedic intellect Fred Willard died over the weekend. Maybe most known these days for his role in the sitcom Modern Family, Willard was also known for his many roles in the mocumentaries of Christopher Guest, including Best in Show, A Mighty Wind and Waiting for Guffman.  Willard was eighty six. 

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