Overnight Underground News June 4th 2020


The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

Mattis turns on Trump. America exports it’s latest resource, rioting. LA is engulfed with trash. Oh yea, there is a pandemic, I forgot. America is in desperate need of more guns and what do porn, death and psychedelic toads have in common? .  

We’ll find out on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Protest and rioting update

Let’s see, since yesterday we’ve learned that according to the autopsy report, George Floyd was infected with covid and was feeling pretty good, well at least before he had a knee on his throat, it seems he was on nice opioid buzz from fentanyl. Former Defense chief Mad Dog Mattis is the latest former Trump ally to turn on the Prez. Mattis told The Atlantic, quote: “Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people—does not even pretend to try. Instead he tries to divide.” Trump unleashed back at the news Mattis had thrown him under the bus, tweeting: “I didn’t like his “leadership” style or much else about him, and many others agree. Glad he is gone!” 

America’s greatest export: Rioting

The spread of what seems to be America’s greatest export this week, rioting and violence is beginning to get out of hand across the pond.There was rioting last night outside 10 Downing Street in London. The sound of rioters throwing, well pretty much anything they can get their hands on, at the Prime Ministers residence in London. There have been reports of attacks against journalists by the peaceful protesters in London. One photojournalist was allegedly hit over the head with a bottle by a protester who reportedly yelled “f**k the daily mail,” while committing said assault. Another reporter from Australia was grabbed by a man while on air who made stabbing motions and yelled Aloha Snackbar.  There have been reports of rioting taking place as far away as Athens with peaceful protesters torching the American embassy in Athens.

Some ho in Houston 

Our sound byte of the day comes today from Houston. Check out this protester offering her, ah, services to the boy’s in blue of the Houston Police Department. I’ll bet she does. Wonder if she has any coupons for bulk purchases? You know, for the whole precinct and all. 

LA is nothing but garbage

Here’s a protest / riot statistic you probably haven’t heard. In LA, the city’s sanitation workers have collected nearly four hundred tons of trash between Friday and Tuesday. Watch Our City dot com reports crews have collected three hundred and ninety five tons of trash, rocks, bricks, bulky and burnt materials created from the recent unrest and looting. 

Remember, there is still a pandemic

Sorry to take the attention away from protests and riots, but we do have some pandemic news to report. Just under two million new unemployment claims were filed last week, that brings the pandemic job losses to a whopping grand total of forty two point six million folks left without gainful employment, and it’s taken one week shy of three months to get there. As bad as that is, the latest figures are the lowest since the week that ended on March 21st,  when the full impact of state-mandated lockdowns was felt. But now that we’re no longer under lockdown, and protesting side by side in the streets and all back to work, it’s all good. No worries. Besides, it’s all a hoax anyway.

Covid surge probably on the way

But just in case you don’t think the whole pandemic thing is a hoax, there is this news. CNN is reporting that new cases of covid are surging in the south and west of the US. Needless to say, the  crowded protests here in the land of the free and home of the naive are sparking new worries. Arkansas, Texas and Arizona are states seeing spikes in new cases of the plague. Even the Surgeon General is voicing his concerns over the spread of coronavirus from the densely packed black lives matter protests. Surgeon General Dr. Jerome Adams told Politico on Monday, that there will likely be a rash of new infections following the protests. One little piece of advice to the protesters and looters, remember, if you die, you can’t vote Trump out of office. So if he gets re-elected, this time protesters, it’s on you,

 

America needs more guns

Gosh darn it all to heck, America now has a shortage of… guns! According to left wing Fox News and a shock to absolutely no one, there has been a rush on gun sales since cities across the lower forty eight have been looted and lighted. The article notes that with the double whammy of covid and now the protests slash riots, gun and sporting goods stores have had a rush from homeowners looking to purchase inexpensive firearms to protect their homes. Maybe we need some kind of guns sale index like the infamous government Waffle House index. That way the stability of our society can be measured in the price of an AR-15.

Porn, death and psychedelic toads

This is a strange one. According to the Guardian, porn actor Nacho Vidal has been arrested by the Spanish Police. No, it’s not a warrant for the silliest porn name on the planet, he’s been cuffed, along with two other people, in connection with the death of a photographer. Now here’s where it gets kinda’ strange. The photographer is believed to have died after inhaling toad venom during some sort of bizzaro cultic ceremony. All of this allegedly took place back in 2019. The dead man, fashion photographer José Luis Abad, according to the legal statement, croaked during a mystical ritual involving the inhalation of vapors from the psychedelic venom of the bufo alvarius toad. Nacho, and the others indicted were arrested on suspicion of involuntary manslaughter and violating public health laws. 

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Overnight Underground News June 3rd 2020


The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

Protests and unrest continue in America. Defense Secretary Esper distances from Trump. The Gulf needs to get ready for Christobal. Biden gains more delegates and advice for sex in the pandemic.

All this and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

The protests continued in the overnight, and thankfully the looting and violence was a little more subdued. Maybe many of the dissenters feel the same way as this protester on Hollywood Blvd,  who expressed her feelings to an ABC 7 News crew. (white money) Still, there were instances of looting in many cities. In Philly, a 24-Year-Old Looter was Killed While Trying to Blow Up an ATM. And the unrest continued it’s spread across the Atlantic to London and Paris, where riot police used tear gas as and faced off with protesters setting fires in the city of blights.

Esper takes aim at Trump

Defense Secretary Mark Esper has broken ranks with Trump. Esper said during a press conference that he opposes invoking the Insurrection Act to allow President Trump to use the U.S. military to quell the violence plaguing US cities. It seems the insurrection here, as far as it comes to Esper, is an insurrection against Trump. I hope he’s got his resume updated, cause something tells me he’s not long for wacky administration. 

Hurricane season kicks off with a bang

Let’s see, we’ve got a pandemic that everyone seems to have forgotten about and thousands of really pissed off people protesting and looting in American cities. What else do we have to throw into the mix? How about a potential hurricane making a possible bee-line for New Orleans. Tropical storm Christobal formed in the southwestern Gulf of Mexico on Tuesday and is expected to meander, hat in hand, toward the U.S. Gulf Coast late Sunday or early Monday. It’s still a crap shoot what the storm’s intensity will be once it hits the US gulf coast. 

Biden gains more delegates

While no one was looking, Presumptive democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden swept all seven presidential primaries yesterday. It’s a big win for Biden, who has no opposition, but we won’t draw any attention to that. These wins put Biden just short of the 1,991 delegates he needs for the nomination. Uncontested primaries next week in Georgia and West Virginia should put him over the top. 

Risky and frisky pandemic sex

If your having sex during the pandemic, it might be a good idea to put a bag over your heads. Well, at least wear a face mask. According to a study from Harvard University, the safest way to have corona-sex is wearing a mask over your puss. It’s probably also a good idea to use a condom.  Some studies have also shown that coronavirus traces have been found in men’s semen. Oh hell, just get yourself a tarp. Maybe those wacky furries were actually on to something. 

Alligators are rioting too

Holy sea cow, now the rioting has spread to the alligator community. A woman in Fort Myers, Florida was shocked that the pounding on her front door had nothing to do with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, it was two gators duking it out in all their amphibian glory. According to the Fort Myers News Press,  one of the gators had his snout pinned on her door while fending off it’s rival. A video of the whole sordid alligator fisticuffs was posted to Facebook. Of course, that link is available on today’s overnight underground dot com web page. 

Remember the camera is always hot

Always assume the mic and in this case the camera is on. According to the Daily Mail, a Mexican senator got caught during a zoom meeting with government officials when she assumed the camera wasn’t loaded. Martha Lucia Micher let it all hang out while changing her blouse during the video meeting and everyone got an eyeful of Martha’s t—-, b—-, p—-, ah you know.   The senator blames the faux pas on her lack of computer knowledge and needing a few extra dollar bills.

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Overnight Underground News June 2nd 2020


The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

Trump gets his wall. Apple Store looters get a surprise. Rioters in LA target bagels. Are you ready for the comie radio network and stormtroopers police social distancing.  

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

It seems Trump may finally have gotten his wall after all. Video of the White House today shows that a larger perimeter fence has been installed around the entire Presidential crib. The Secret Service says they are just reinforcing security around the White House and have told Fox News it’s just an expansion of the perimeter. I say, look no matter how high they make the damn thing, a mesh fence just can’t keep us safe from Trump. But with any luck, it might be enough to keep him locked in his cell, ah bunker until November 4th. Maybe de Blasio and Cuomo could join him there for jello wrestling or something and keep these three retards busy until after the elections. 

Apple bricks looted computers

Looters who grabbed computers from Apple Stores are in for a surprise. It seems that the computers and i-devices snatched by lootie are bricked junk. TMZ reports devices swiped from the Apple Store are demo machines rooted with applications that prevent the devices from being reset to factory settings. Yea, they are essentially useless, overpriced electronic  paperweights. To make matters even worse for lootie, the devices are also being tracked. Maybe get some tee shirts made up that say, “I looted an Apple Store today and all I got was a thousand dollar paperweight.”

Rolex store looters get big booty

Rolex is probably thinking it’s too bad they can’t brick their watches. The New York Post reports that looters swiped just under two and a half million dollars worth of watches just from one  Rolex store in the SoHo neighborhood of Manhattan. The store, on Greene Street was needless to say, emptied by looters. Two and a half million, that’s what…  two Rolex watches. 

Jewish business targeted in LA

I know, let’s blame this nonsensel on the Jews. The Jerusalem Post reports that rioters hit synagogues and kosher stores up and down the historically Jewish Fairfax district in Los Angeles. The Rabbi Gershon Bess Shul was tagged along with the Congregation Beth Israel, which was graffitied with anti-semitic slogans like the old standby used by anti-semites world wide, “F**k Israel” and “Free Palestine.” A number of kosher deli’s and stores were looted. Hey, looters got to nosh too. 

The FCC are morons

Well here’s some good news. foreign companies can now own American broadcast properties. Yesterday, according to Radio Ink, the FCC voted to allow foreign investment in Cumulus Broadcasting, up to one hundred percent. Cumulus is the third largest owner and operator of radio stations in the US. Sounds like a great idea, allowing ownership of US broadcast properties by foreign entities such as Russia, China and hell, why not North Korea and Iran. Bet they would still play shitty American pop music though.  

Stormtroopers enforce social distancing

I just love this story. At Disney parks, Imperial Stormtroopers will be in charge of social distancing. Following the reopening of parts of Disney World on May 20th, citizens visiting the parks must follow social distancing rules. In a video released by attractions magazine, two stormtroopers can be seen at Disney Springs, blasters in hand ordering visitors at the happiest place on earth to stay the hell away from each other. Of course that video can be viewed on today’s podcast page at overnight underground dot com

Mutant ticks take over Russia

Making the list of things that want to kill you today, are mutant ticks. Over in Russia, in the Krasnoyarsk region, they’ve been blighted, or is that bited, by and invading horde of blood-sucking ticks. The Daily Star reports, the new and deadly “mutant” ticks are spreading across the region at a rate of 428 times more than the usual tick infestation rate. I didnt’ even know they had such a thing, a tick infection rate. I don’t know about you, but I’m stayin’ home and locking my doors. In the suburbs of Krasnoyarsk city they are infested with 214 ticks per square kilometer. The normal “safe figure is 0.5.

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Overnight Underground News June 1st 2020


The Overnight Underground News Podcast.

Unless you’ve been living in a hole, and well, it’s actually something we here at the Overnight Underground would highly recommend at this point in history, you undoubtedly witnessed either first hand or on the flat screen, the mayhem and lawlessness currently plaguing the streets of America. So maybe you’re asking yourself, just how wide spread is it? Well, Yahoo News reports that the protests by day and riots by night have spread to one hundred and forty cities in the US. But don’t go thinking that this is just an American problem, the unrest is now spreading, like a plague to other western democracies. 

Mayhem Spreads

On Sunday night rioting and looting spread to our neighbors in the north. Montreal witnessed peaceful protesters turned criminals as businesses were looted and police responded with tear gas. According to the Montreal Gazette, eleven were arrested in last night’s melee. Meanwhile in England, This morning a large crowd flying an Antifa flag was chanting ‘fuck the police’ outside Downing Street. (downing) Kind of fun to hear “fuck the police” with a british accent. In New Zealand, an estimated two thousand protesters surrounded the US Consulate in Auckland. So, yea, this is no longer just an American problem. I’m so glad we could get our exports going again. 

Trump calls Governors wimps

The politics surrounding this wanton destruction of businesses and property is sometimes amusing and as usual accomplishes little and appears to only fan the flames of more disorder. The Republicans blame Antifa and the Democrats blame white supremacists and each other and the cities burn. The President had a phone call with nation’s Governors Monday morning and the great orange one called out many of the Governors for being, well, pussies. Trump spent part of last night dominating the secret bunker in the basement of the White House. 

Amnesty calls US Po Po bad

And here’s a funny story, Amnesty International is calling for an end of militarized police response to the protests. Axios notes the group has issued a statement calling for an end to militarized policing in U.S. cities and the use of  what they call “excessive force” against demonstrators. Look, I agree with you on this, militarized police is an issue and a really, really bad idea. But damn, cities are burning, private property is being looted and destroyed and the approach of “we feel your pain now go home cause mom and dad love you and have stocked your basement with fresh Doritos” just doesn’t appear to be working. Right now it seems like the plan is to let the rioters loot until there’s nothing left to loot, and then they’ll just give up. Not a very cunning plan. 

Air Force Base Shooting

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, comes news of a shooting at the Grand Forks Air Force Base. Newsweek reports two are dead following the shooting at the dorms. The incident is still under investigation. It’s good to know that during these troubled  times, it’s comforting to have something American’s are familiar with,  like a mass shooting.

Mouthwash could kill you

Here’s something random and completely unrelated. Using mouthwash after exercising can cause death. The website Science Alert points to a study that using mouthwash after working out can lead to the reduction of  one of the main benefits of exercise: lowering your blood pressure. It all has something to do with the mouthwash killing bacteria ‘key’  opening up blood vessels, hence the hastening of inevitable death. It’s all too damn much science for me after a weekend of looting and rioting, but go ahead and read it if you like, the link of course is available at overnight underground dot com. And yes, welcome to the beautiful planet where everything is out to kill you. 

Say something nice day today

Hey did you know today is National Say Something Nice Day? (good luck) Maybe we could try some phrases like: “That’s a lovely black block outfit you have on” or “Thank you for sharing your lootie loot with me.” So, come out of your lockdown, and go get your free stuff from your friendly neighborhood get and split, and for god’s sakes, say something nice. 

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