Category: News

What does Donald Trump really think of the Mueller report? According the the great orange one on Twitter, some of it is “total bullshit.” That is all.

But don’t feel bad about the President’s potty mouth, we now learn that ​​ swearing is good for you. According to the experts, whomever those bastards may be, belting out an expletive after you stub your toe helps to relieve pain. The research, noted in the Scottish Sun, points out that swearing can relieve pain by as much as fifty percent. Let me be the first to say, if you don’t swear, you are a fargin’ icehole.

In the City by the Bay the poop just keeps piling up. The San Francisco Gate reports that human feces on the streets of San Francisco is seeing a massive increase. In the last eight years, the crap has capped at over twenty eight thousand dumps, up from just over fifty five hundred in 2011. The real solution to the Californi-defication? Depends.

Don’t blame the crap, blame the computers, for the Notre Dame fire that is. According to the rector at the fire ravaged church, the conflagration may have been caused by a computer glitch. Rector, un-patched Windows XP, damn near killed her.

Since 9-11 the New York Yankee’s have regularly played Kate Smith’s recording of “God Bless America” from the 1930’s, but it appears the fat lady has sung for the last time. The Bronx Bombers management have tossed the song from the seventh inning stretch over another song in the Kate Smith cannon, called “That’s Why Darkies Were Born.” Just for the record, the song was considered a parody back in 1939, but that doesn’t matter, someone was offended and we can’t have that.

Yang is laissez faire on wang. According to the Daily Beast, Presidential Candidate Andrew Yang has taken a hands off position on circumcision. Yang tweeted last week that he was against the practice of ritualized cutting the foreskin of newborns. This news comes with Yang’s publicized stance on universal income, which he believes can curb racism and calling for penalties for fake news.

President Trump is backing the public release of the Mueller Report. Signs and rumors are pointing to the release of the Mueller Report, the investigation into Trump’s alleged ties to Russian interference in the 2016 election. Trump told reporters on the White House lawn that he was all for the report being made public. (Byte)

Following the terror attacks in New Zealand, it appears that internet providers in that country are blocking some web sites at the ISP level. Zero Hedge and InfoWars are both saying that their web sites are being blocked by the nations internet service providers. Users in New Zealand are able to load the sites using a VPN. New Zealand telecom CEOs, recently penned an open letter to Facebook, Twitter and Google, recommending that they adopt European proposals for policing of content for the sake of 'protecting consumers.'

Google has been hit with another whammy from the EU, to the tune of one point seven billion euros. In reality, just pocket change for Google. This latest fine, over anti-trust in advertising, brings the total to eight point two billion euros levied against the internet giant. Guess they will have to dig through the couch cushions.

Today the racist accusation the day goes to…. Let’s spin the wheel, Peppa pig. Peppa is accused of being a, ahem, racist pig, because he (can we say he?) used the term Fireman. The London Fire Brigade took umbrage with Peppa by tweeting, “ You have a huge influence on kids & using out of date stereotypical gender specific wording prevents young girls from becoming firefighters.” It’s a talking pig for god’s sake.

Today on the Overnight Underground, The Senate votes down President Trump’s border wall emergency, rockets are being fired at Israel and rumors of intervention in Venezuela.

It certainly was a rebuke to the President, the Republican controlled Senate voted to block the national emergency on the border wall. All in all a dozen Republicans joined Democrats to block the resolution to tap into six billion bucks for the southern border wall that had been set aside for other programs. No truth to the rumor the President was seen in the Oval Office digging through a box of crayons searching for the one labeled Veto.

Palestinians sent two olive branches into Israel on Thursday. According to multiple sources two rockets were fired toward Tel Aviv from Northern Syria. Netanyahu is reportedly holding an emergency security meeting and all hell could break loose at any moment. Rocket alert sirens were blaring in Tel Aviv for the first time in two years, all of this happening just three weeks before Israel holds a general election.

American diplomats are getting the hell out of Dodge, in Venezuela and there has been some mysterious aerial activity in the skies around the South American country. A cargo aircraft linked to the CIA appears to have landed in Caracas. This follows Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s decision to order all Embassy staff out of the country. Its unknown what the airplanes mission is, it could be for evacuating the embassy staff or possibly to bolster the CIA presence in Venezuela. Hold on to your shorts ladies and gents, remember the President said, (byte).

Beto O’Rourke has officially thrown his hat into the 2020 Presidential Race. Warning of impending doom from global warming and hundreds of millions of climate refugees and total extension in a dozen years Beto brought the good news of his campaign via video from El Paso.

You can’t be arrested for drunk driving if your sober. Well, you can if your name is Sober. 44-year-old Daniel Sober was arrested over the weekend for driving over the limit in suburban Pittsburgh. You can hear it now, “Are you drunk?” … No office I’m Sober.” Hey, he wasn’t lying.

Not the best of days for Paul Manafort, slapped with nearly a four year sentence, for a total of seven and half years behind bars for the former Trump campaign manager. Then, just following his federal sentence, came news that Manafort will face new mortgage and conspiracy charges from New York prosecutors. Ouch. Now the question remains, will President Trump pardon him? ABC’s chief legal analyst thinks so. That’s what he said on his Sirius XM show on Wednesday (byte) Senator Lindsey Graham told reporters that Trump pardoning Manafort would be a disaster for the President. So smart money is on another Presidential disaster.

The Boeing 737 Max 8’s and 9’s have been grounded worldwide. And this time it has nothing to do with gravity. President Trump announced the US would follow Canada and the rest of the world’s lead and ground the aircraft following two recent crashes. (Byte) Smart money will be on Boeing stock grounding just as quick as their planes.

Venezuela’s on fire yo! Multiple explosions are rocking power stations and substations and now an oil refinery in the South American country. Sources are reporting that the Petro San Félix oil refinery is currently on fire. No power, no water, no oil, no food and no dinero. Still, there are a lot of college kids who still ​​ think that it’s a paradise.

It’s a day ending in day, so there must be more drama happening in the UK. British lawmakers have again rejected more Brexit stuff. I know, it’s hard to keep track. British MP’s voted against the no-deal Brexit on Wednesday evening. Parliament closed this evening to a rounding rendition of Benny Hill’s Yackety Sax.

Here’s a use for police body cam’s you probably never considered. The NY Post is reporting that a Brooklyn cop accidentally recorded preforming oral sex on her boss with her body cam. The female officer thought she turned the camera off, but somehow during the action, the camera turned back on and caught the duo in the throngs of passion. The sexcapade was discovered following a review of body cam footage. Well, some people have always believed the NYPD sucked.

The UK Parliament has again crushed another Brexit deal. Almost a thousand days after the voters decided to quit the EU, the house of commons dashed England’s plan to exit the European Union. What does all of this mean? No ones is exactly sure. Tomorrow will see a vote on the no deal Brexit, or as the Parliament hobbits like to call it, second Brexit.

House Speaker Pelosi says she believes Trump is unfit for office, but won’t move for impeachment. In the Washington Post magazine Pelosi stated, “impeachment is so divisive to the country that unless there’s something so compelling and overwhelming and bipartisan, I don’t think we should go down that path because it divides the country.” Undoubtedly this will infuriate the far-left with of her own party. (Byte)

The Overnight Underground has been laying off Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, but we just can’t bypass this montage from her recent appearance at the new political spring training ground South By South West. (Byte) There were over 70 “likes,” nearly 35 “you knows” and five “whatever’s” This was in-between the Mensa member stating America was “garbage,” capitalism is “irredeemable,” and President Reagan was a racist. Aint’ post modernism grand!

50 high profile big-wigs, including executives and Hollywood actresses have been charged in a nationwide college cheating scam. The alleged perps include Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin ​​ according to court records unsealed in Boston. The indicted allegedly paid bribes up to six million dollars to get their kids admitted into elite colleges including Yale, Stanford, Georgetown and USC according to Federal prosecutors. Wait, what you’re saying is that rich people use their wealth to buy their kids a future! I’m shocked.

News Corp is calling for the breakup of Google in Australia. Rupert Murdoch's company petitioned regulators in a complaint that stated "Google enjoys overwhelming market power in both online search and ad tech services." News Corp Australia is a subsidiary of News Corp. The company owns 21st Century Fox, the Wall Street Journal, Fox News, and a whole shit load ​​ of papers and TV principals in the UK .Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. This follows news from earlier in the week when Elizabeth Warren argued that Amazon, Google and Facebook hold " too much power.” Warren found herself in the Facebook hole ​​ when the company deleted her ads that claimed the anti-social media company abuses its power. The ads were later restored. On Monday, Warren tweeted that Facebook’s actions were an example of why the social media behemoth’s should be busted.

President Trump just won’t give up on that damn border wall. The White House budget proposal is asking for eight point six billion dollars to build the wall on the nations southern border. Of course, the proposal drew condemnations from the Democrats. The figure is more than six times what Congress has allocated for border projects and around six percent more than the President would have demanded if emergency powers had been invoked. Contrary to rumors, the budget was not written in crayon on a single page.

In other political poop, Milwaukee has been chose for the Democratic National Convention. You may remember that Wisconsin was the state Hillary lost to Trump in the last election and drew criticism because it was left off her schedule visit during the campaign. Milwaukee beat out Miami and Houston as the pick for the Dems.

Much of Venezuela is still in the dark amid power blackouts and rampant looting in the South American country. Venezuela’s President Maduro is blaming the US for the countries power woes, saying the electricity grid has been hacked in and act of sabotage on the Guri hydroelectric dam. The Daily Mail reports a number of people have been detained following looting at supermarkets in Caracas. An unnamed American official has not reportedly said, “We didn’t do it. But you know, we totally would screw with them if given the opportunity. But lets face it, it’s much easier sit back and let them step on their own dicks."

How are you enjoying your first day back at work following the time change? Not so much? If Trump gets his way, you may never had to deal with it again. The President gave the thumbs up to making daylight savings time permanent, days after a congressional bill suggested the change.

Justin Bieber is felling very, very depressed. The, just what exactly is he anyway, the post-modern teeny bopper pop star says he has been “struggling a lot” and has asked his fans to pray for him. Bieber and his wife Hailey Baldwin said in a Vogue interview recently that they were both in therapy to deal with their communication issues. In the words of legendary philosopher George Carlin, “It’s true that money can’t buy you happiness, but somehow it’s much more comfortable crying in a Porsche than on a Bicycle.

Jameson whiskey bacon maple syrup pancakes. Did that get your attention. Just a public service announcement from the Overnight Underground. You can find the recipe on the Irish Post. The link, available at johnford.radio.

Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort has been sentenced to nearly four years in club Fed for tax and bank fraud. Manafort has already served 9 months in jail and will get credit for his time served. At this rate, Roger Stone will probably get community service and never forget, Hillary is still free. President Trump had this to say about Manafort on Friday (Byte-Trump)

Also heading to the clink is Chelsea Manning. The former army intelligence analyst is being jailed for refusing to testify to a grand jury regarding an investigation into WikiLeaks. The Judge in the case stated Manning will remain behind bars until she testifies or the grand jury is concluded. (Byte-Trump)

Job creation hit a brick wall in February but wages are still on the uptick. Payrolls were up just 20 thousand and the unemployment rate fell to three point eight percent. It’s the worst month for job creation since 2017.

Massive blackouts have hit Venezuela. 22 of the countries 23 states have seen crippling power outages sending thousands into the streets from subways stumbling through some of Caracas’ most violent streets, looking for busses or just walking home. Of course, Venezuela’s pinko commie government has blamed the US as being responsible for an “electrical war” against the South American country. Democrats allegedly have been having closed door meetings considering air-dropping Bernie Sanders into Venezuela to help fix the mess.

North Korea might be blowing stuff up again. The Mirror reports that Best Korea had a 2.1 tremor that was reportedly caused by “artificial” activity. Speculation is that the quake might have been caused by an explosion in a mine. This comes following news earlier in the week that there was increased activity at a factory that produces missiles in the DPRK. No reason to panic though, maybe fat boy just dropped his sammich. President Trump said this on Friday regarding the North Korean Dictator. (Bytep-Trump) Former President Jimmy Carter is offering to travel to North Korea for denuclearization talks. That could work, but only if Dennis Rodman goes along for the ride.

The UK’s Shadow Home Secretary is blaming the recent spate of knife crime in the UK on porn and video games. Dianne Abbot says that hardcore porn and violent video games are causing the rise in violent crime in the UK and that the deadly duo is to blame for the violent crime. Hey, Abbot, you know what would reduce knife crime? Guns! Get with the program would you cousins.

So, you say you like ranch dressing? Hidden Valley is celebrating with a “bring your own bottle” event in Vegas on Sunday. Claiming that they will fill whatever container you bring with ranch dressing. Bathtubs, tanker trucks, oil tankers… you name it. This all takes place at the New York, New York Hotel and Casino for one hour on Sunday. Fill a kiddie pool and start the first ranch dressing wrestling venue on the strip. The possibilities are almost endless.

A Vermont town has elected a goat as honorary mayor. A Nubian goat named Lincoln is due to become honorary pet mayor of the small town of Fair Haven. Lincoln the goat beat out other contenders by 13 votes, including a dog named sammie who only garnered 10 votes. The town mayor said , “It was a great way to introduce the elementary school kids to local government.” Maybe the kids could have the new honorary mayor over for a BBQ.

https://www.politico.com/story/2019/03/06/ilhan-omar-israel-democrats-1206740

https://www.rollcall.com/news/congress/democrats-delay-vote-anti-semitism-resolution-broaden-language-include-types-bigotry

House democrats are having a tough time overcoming their split over passing a resolution condemning anti-semitism. The Dem’s reportedly clashed during a closed-door meeting Wednesday over how best to respond to Representative Ilhan Omar’s repeated use of alleged anti-Semitic platitudes. One member of Omar’s clan of far-leftists clashed with the Democratic leadership over an agreement to vote on a resolution aimed at what they called a nefarious “dual loyalty” to the U.S. and Israel. Roll Call is reporting Democrats are looking to broaden the language of the resolution to include other types of bigotry. ​​ Trump has called for Omar to resign. (Byte Trump) Although the resolution seems to have Omar squarely in its crosshairs, so far Democrats have reportedly not included Omar’s name in any draft proposals. Voldemort!

https://www.newsweek.com/north-korea-rebuilding-dismantled-nuclear-launch-site-after-trump-kim-summit-1352946

North Korea’s Kim is getting his erections going again. Following the failed Trump/Kim summit in Vietnam, North Korea appears to be rebuilding a rocket launching site. The DC based think tank, CSIS, has obtained images that have spotted the activity in the North West corner of the DRPK. So far, the White House has declined to comment on the activity.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/r-kelly-denies-sexual-abuse-allegations-in-explosive-interview-2019-03-05/

Rapper R Kelly is denying the allegations of sexual abuse against him. Kelly said this in an interview on CBS This Morning. (Byte-Kelly) The charges stem from allegations involving 4 women, three of whom were underage when the alleged events took place.

https://deadline.com/2019/03/nearly-3m-pay-tv-subscribers-cut-service-in-2018-double-2017-rate-study-1202570400/

The party looks like it’s over for pay tv. According to a study by the Leichtman Research Group, cord-cutters are leaving the pay TV world by nearly twice as much in 2018 as the previous year. Nearly 2.9 million folks canceled their pay TV subscriptions. Direct TV and Dish were at the head of the pack loosing the bulk of subscribers. That’s not even considering the numbers that cut off their Cox…. cable.

https://www.treehugger.com/plastic/its-time-war-balloons.html

First they came for your straws and I said nothing, then they came for your sunscreen and I stayed silent. Now they want your balloons, and. It’s too late. Treehugger wants to ban your balloons bucko. The balloon ban, promulgated on an op-ed on the Treehuger web site, states that balloons are the leading cause of death for seabirds, according to the University of Tasmania. What devils! Won’t someone think of the the crying children!

https://www.axios.com/mark-zuckerberg-plan-facebook-privacy-e75345c5-3364-46c1-8673-5768140c6f2f.html

Here’s the funniest story of the day. Facebook founder and overlord Mark Zuckerberg has reportedly outlined plans to move Facebook to "privacy-focused" platform. In a three thousand word note on Wednesday, the big Zuck said, quote, “"I believe the future of communication will increasingly shift to private, encrypted services where people can be confident what they say to each other stays secure and their messages and content won't stick around forever. This is the future I hope we will help bring about.” How’s he gonna’ sell that? I mean, literally, their entire business plan revolves around selling the information you give to them. How is he going to sell that? Maybe he’ll create another company that lets Facebook users keep their data private, for a small fee.