Author: johnford

It’s time for the Overnight Underground News Podcast.  I’m John Ford.  

George Floyd fest

Ah, it’s kind of a boring news day today, but that could all change in a flash. On Monday there was a viewing of the body of our lord and savior George Floyd and of course today is the wall to wall coverage of the George Floyd funeral. Democrats staged one of those take a knee moments for eight minutes and 46 seconds in DC on Monday. Nancy Pelosi had a hard time getting back up as her knees gave out. Probably not the first time for that. The Democrats pushed their Justice in Policing Act and Republicans said no, police are friends not food. The whole damn thing feels just like an endless and perpetually annoying kabuki theatre. Just turn it off already and step away from the TV and Twitter if you know what’s good for you. 

Army may rename bases

The Army has announced they are ready to surrender to cancel culture and the politics of victimhood. Army brass yesterday said they are considering changing names of forts and bases that are named after Confederate generals. Among those bases that are being considered for name change are Fort Bragg in North Carolina, Fort Benning in Georgia and Fort Hood in Texas. That one could just become Fort Boys in the Hood. That would work. There is no truth to the rumors that some of the names being considered as replacements for the racist, offensive, objectionable and mean fort names are:  Fort Looser, Fort Surrender, Fort Politically Correct, Fort Pu**y, Fort White Flag, Fort PornHub, Fort McFortyface, Fort Gomer, Fort Social Justice Warrior, Fort Honorable Elijah Muhammad, Fort Duchebag and of course Fort A**hole. 

Cancel culture of the day report

Here’s some more cancel culture news. Adam Rapoport, The Editor in Chief over at Bon Appétit has stepped down. No it wasn’t because he ordered fried chicken. It seems an old Instagram post with Rapoport in brownface surfaced on Monday, and of course, that calls for erasing him from existence. The Wrap reports that Rapoport said he is, quote: “stepping down as editor in chief of Bon Appétit to reflect on the work that I need to do as a human being.” As opposed to work he did in the past as what? A gerbil, fish, a wallaby?  It seems it’s just too much for anyone to take after the picture of Rapoport surfaced from a Halloween costume he wore 16 years ago. Honestly, I’ve seen the picture and he just looks like your typical douche  bag Yankees fan. But here’s something I always wondered. Why is it not acceptable to dress in black or brown face, but it’s perfectly acceptable for men to dress as women in drag wearing the most ridiculous makeup and clothes that many would say are demeaning women. HI mean, there’s even top rated TV shows dedicated to this misogyny. Makes no sense to me. But then none of this cancel culture, social justice, neo-marxist postmodernism does. 

No more streaming Little Britain for you

Oh hell, let’s just cancel TV shows while we’re at it. The Guardian reports the TV show Little Britain has been axed from all UK streaming platforms.  The erasure is due to concerns about the use of blackface by its two stars, David Walliams and Matt Lucas. The BBC Ministry of Truth said, quote: “Times have changed since Little Britain first aired, so it is not currently available on BritBox.” I say it’s time to target All in the Family next. Archie Bunker must be canceled. 

North Korea throws a hissy fit

North Korea is back in the news. According to multiple reports, North Korea has cut all communication channels with their neighbors in the South. This latest move from the North comes as it escalates pressure on South Korea for failing to stop activists from floating anti-Pyongyang leaflets, money and thumb drives with movies and music across the border. According to the Guardian, North Korea said it will make Soul suffer for its actions. Isn’t having to live next to North Korea suffering enough. 

I’d report on more, but honestly, I’ve just had enough for today. I need to keep a little bit of my sanity.

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

Refund the police, oh wait, that’s defund the police. In New York the murder rate is on the rise. The cancel culture racks up at least three over the weekend. Your Sims may have STD’s and no donut discounts for the po po in Rhode Island. 

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Bad cop no money

The city of Minneapolis has come up with a novel way to deal with rioting, looting and what now seems like perpetual protesting, they’re going to disband the police department. Come to think about it, what better way to lower crime rates than to dismantle and defund the police. No police, no reported crime. Minneapolis Council President Lisa Bender told CNN  Wait, that’s the wrong Bender. That’s Minneapolis Council President Lisa Bender, saying the same thing twice. I wonder how many times she rehearsed that? So what do they do next without a police department? According to Bender, the city will move police funding toward community-based strategies and the city council will hold discussions on how to replace the current police department. Wait, she’s admitting they’re scrapping the police department and they don’t know what they’re actually going to replace it with? Hey, there’s been a homicide, quick, send in the social workers. I wonder how Walmart and Target will feel about rebuilding their stores in Minneapolis, with them being guarded by the city council and social workers?

Murder rates rise in New York

Meanwhile in New York City with the protests and lootings of the last week, shootings and murders rose dramatically in the big apple. The New York Post reports that compared to the same period last year murders nearly tripled  From Sunday to Monday there were thirteen murders in New York city and forty shootings. At least one shooting in the city was allegedly attributable to looting when one alleged looter was shot by another alleged looter, allegedly in SoHo during the alleged rioting and looting in New Looterville, allegedly formerly known as New York. Allegedly. 

New York Times cancels editor

The cancel culture has been working overtime in the media over the weekend. At the New York Times the Editorial Page Editor, James Bennet, resigned following the paper publishing an op-ed from Republican Senator Tom Cotton. According to The Hill, the newspaper’s announcement of the resignation did not mention the controversy over the Cotton op-ed. The Times must think we’re all idiots not admitting that the two aren’t related. 

Philadelphia Inquirer cancels editor

The top editor of The Philadelphia Inquirer also resigned over the weekend. Stan Wischnowski fell on his sword following the printing of an article with the headline “Buildings Matter, Too.” Maybe they should have titled it “Black Buildings Matter, Too”.The paper printed an apology and said they were sorry because some found the article offensive. I agree, it’s time to put an end to printing anything that might possibly offend someone, it’s just criminal. I’d say they should be arrested, but once we abolish the police, who’s going to arrest them? I know, send in the social workers. 

Variety cancels editor

Meanwhile, over at Variety,  Editor in Chief Claudia Eller has been placed on administrative leave. This comes after a heated exchange on Twitter, wait is there any other kind, over the lack of newsroom diversity. I’d give you the gory details, but let’s just say someone is offended and angry over something and blah, blah, blah ad infinitum ad nauseam. 

JK Rowling called on carpet over belief in biological sex

JK Rowling is next on the cancel culture weekend list. It seems the  Harry Potter author has stopped her tiptoeing around the mirky pseudo-scientific world of biological sex. Rowling Tweeted over the weekend, among other things, that ” If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased.” Needless to say the Trans community, was, wait for it, offended. Yea, the twitter outrage squad have called the tweets “anti-trans” and “transphobic.” I know, let’s force her to get a hysterectomy and buy her a pair of truck nuts and start calling her Joe, that will teach that f**king TERF. My question is, if biological sex isn’t real, why do people feel the need to transition from one unreality to another? 

https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1269382518362509313

Sims catch STD’s

Your Sim’s may have the clap. A new update to Sims 4 has apparently given urinating sims flaming pee. The gaming website RPS notes the latest update does indeed give Sims depending on how you look at it, either a new superpower or an STD, fire piss. It seems that it doesn’t matter if you stand up or sit down to do your duty, the fire is still there. That’s what she said. Some redditors have noted that the fire pee seems to happen if the bathroom and hence the toilet is above the kitchen. Maybe it’s a gas leak or something. Either way, shit, or in this case, piss, does indeed roll down hill.  

Chinese man’s butt is fishy

In China, a man recently had to have a fish removed from his rectum. The Daily Mail reports a 30-year-old man had doctors remove a whole fish from his rectum after he said he sat on it by accident. The doctors made the fishy discovery after the man was admitted to the hospital for severe abdominal pain. I wonder if it was billy bass? Then he’d really be talking out his ass. 

Cops to pay full price for diabetes

In Rhode Island it really is bad cop no donut time. Allie’s Donuts, in North Kingstown, Rhode Island, recently announced via Instagram that they will no longer be offering discounts to police officers or members of the military. Why? Because of recent accusations of racism and injustice against the local police department of course. It goes without saying that people are outraged and hurt all the way around. Me, I have a dream that one day that it will become self-evident that all of God’s donuts are created equally delicious. Until then, no crullers, no peace, no discount for the police. 

Assault by burger

Wait, this might be a new one, assault by hamburger. TSG reports that a Florida woman assaulted her beau with a burger that started with an argument over an open window in the couples trailer. Wow, there is so much wrong with that sentence I just wouldn’t know where to begin. Anyway, according to the report, 47-year-old Tanya Cordero denies the assault by burger, but the cops say there were still hamburger remnants in the alleged assaulted man’s  ear when the cops arrived. Cordero was charged with domestic battery and later released from jail on her own recognizance. It’s not the first time Cordero has been in trouble with the cops for assaulting her partner, in January, she was convicted of battering her boyfriend over their children’s Halloween costumes and served three months in jail.

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

There’s good employment news today. White folk get bigger job gains but blacks and hispanics, well not so much and a tale of two mayors.  

Today on the Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Good news for Jobs

Hey, here’s some. No really, it actually is good news. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics the US unemployment rate has actually fallen. The index fell to  thirteen point three percent, and the economy actually gained two and a half million jobs despite the damn plague. Needless to say, Wall Street latched on to the jobs report and was up around   seven hundred points at market open. The good economic news comes during the phased reopening of businesses across the country.  

Dentists lead the way

The Week reports that ten percent of the employment gains were due to dentists. Just under a quarter of a million of the job gains came from dentists’ offices, as dental patients were less down in the mouth about the safety of returning to the dentist. There is also further proof now that reports are inherently racist. Bloomberg notes that while white employment rose, that wasn’t the case for black folk. The unemployment rate for black American’s rose to sixteen point eight percent. Latino’s fared the worst, with just over seventeen and a half percent unemployed.

Cleveland gets a new city motto

In the past Cleveland has had one or two regrettable monikers. There’s the “Mistake by the lake” and of course the unofficial motto of Cleveland, “Hey, at least we’re not Detroit.” Thanks to the mayor of Cleveland, they now have a new one. Well bless his heart. Yep, that’s Cleveland mayor Frank Jackson from an interview on The Appeal. Let me tell you, I spent a month in Cleveland one weekend, and outside of the burning river, it wasn’t that bad. 

Simi Valley mayor is full of sh*t

Simi Valley don’t take no shit. On Monday, Simi Valley Mayor Pro Tem Mike Judge posted a meme on Facebook, which read, “Wanna stop the riots? Mobilize the septic tank trucks, put a pressure cannon on ’em, and hose ’em down.” Today, many are calling for him to resign. Judge, a near 30-year veteran with the LAPD,  said the meme was a joke. Well, joke or not, it’s 2020 and if you haven’t gotten the memo, the world is officially a no joke zone. A lot of people were offended, and that is the new unforgivable sin, so the Mayor must be canceled. Well, at least he didn’t call the city the There is that.

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

Mattis turns on Trump. America exports it’s latest resource, rioting. LA is engulfed with trash. Oh yea, there is a pandemic, I forgot. America is in desperate need of more guns and what do porn, death and psychedelic toads have in common? .  

We’ll find out on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Protest and rioting update

Let’s see, since yesterday we’ve learned that according to the autopsy report, George Floyd was infected with covid and was feeling pretty good, well at least before he had a knee on his throat, it seems he was on nice opioid buzz from fentanyl. Former Defense chief Mad Dog Mattis is the latest former Trump ally to turn on the Prez. Mattis told The Atlantic, quote: “Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people—does not even pretend to try. Instead he tries to divide.” Trump unleashed back at the news Mattis had thrown him under the bus, tweeting: “I didn’t like his “leadership” style or much else about him, and many others agree. Glad he is gone!” 

America’s greatest export: Rioting

The spread of what seems to be America’s greatest export this week, rioting and violence is beginning to get out of hand across the pond.There was rioting last night outside 10 Downing Street in London. The sound of rioters throwing, well pretty much anything they can get their hands on, at the Prime Ministers residence in London. There have been reports of attacks against journalists by the peaceful protesters in London. One photojournalist was allegedly hit over the head with a bottle by a protester who reportedly yelled “f**k the daily mail,” while committing said assault. Another reporter from Australia was grabbed by a man while on air who made stabbing motions and yelled Aloha Snackbar.  There have been reports of rioting taking place as far away as Athens with peaceful protesters torching the American embassy in Athens.

Some ho in Houston 

Our sound byte of the day comes today from Houston. Check out this protester offering her, ah, services to the boy’s in blue of the Houston Police Department. I’ll bet she does. Wonder if she has any coupons for bulk purchases? You know, for the whole precinct and all. 

LA is nothing but garbage

Here’s a protest / riot statistic you probably haven’t heard. In LA, the city’s sanitation workers have collected nearly four hundred tons of trash between Friday and Tuesday. Watch Our City dot com reports crews have collected three hundred and ninety five tons of trash, rocks, bricks, bulky and burnt materials created from the recent unrest and looting. 

Remember, there is still a pandemic

Sorry to take the attention away from protests and riots, but we do have some pandemic news to report. Just under two million new unemployment claims were filed last week, that brings the pandemic job losses to a whopping grand total of forty two point six million folks left without gainful employment, and it’s taken one week shy of three months to get there. As bad as that is, the latest figures are the lowest since the week that ended on March 21st,  when the full impact of state-mandated lockdowns was felt. But now that we’re no longer under lockdown, and protesting side by side in the streets and all back to work, it’s all good. No worries. Besides, it’s all a hoax anyway.

Covid surge probably on the way

But just in case you don’t think the whole pandemic thing is a hoax, there is this news. CNN is reporting that new cases of covid are surging in the south and west of the US. Needless to say, the  crowded protests here in the land of the free and home of the naive are sparking new worries. Arkansas, Texas and Arizona are states seeing spikes in new cases of the plague. Even the Surgeon General is voicing his concerns over the spread of coronavirus from the densely packed black lives matter protests. Surgeon General Dr. Jerome Adams told Politico on Monday, that there will likely be a rash of new infections following the protests. One little piece of advice to the protesters and looters, remember, if you die, you can’t vote Trump out of office. So if he gets re-elected, this time protesters, it’s on you,

America needs more guns

Gosh darn it all to heck, America now has a shortage of… guns! According to left wing Fox News and a shock to absolutely no one, there has been a rush on gun sales since cities across the lower forty eight have been looted and lighted. The article notes that with the double whammy of covid and now the protests slash riots, gun and sporting goods stores have had a rush from homeowners looking to purchase inexpensive firearms to protect their homes. Maybe we need some kind of guns sale index like the infamous government Waffle House index. That way the stability of our society can be measured in the price of an AR-15.

Porn, death and psychedelic toads

This is a strange one. According to the Guardian, porn actor Nacho Vidal has been arrested by the Spanish Police. No, it’s not a warrant for the silliest porn name on the planet, he’s been cuffed, along with two other people, in connection with the death of a photographer. Now here’s where it gets kinda’ strange. The photographer is believed to have died after inhaling toad venom during some sort of bizzaro cultic ceremony. All of this allegedly took place back in 2019. The dead man, fashion photographer José Luis Abad, according to the legal statement, croaked during a mystical ritual involving the inhalation of vapors from the psychedelic venom of the bufo alvarius toad. Nacho, and the others indicted were arrested on suspicion of involuntary manslaughter and violating public health laws. 

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

Protests and unrest continue in America. Defense Secretary Esper distances from Trump. The Gulf needs to get ready for Christobal. Biden gains more delegates and advice for sex in the pandemic.

All this and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

The protests continued in the overnight, and thankfully the looting and violence was a little more subdued. Maybe many of the dissenters feel the same way as this protester on Hollywood Blvd,  who expressed her feelings to an ABC 7 News crew. (white money) Still, there were instances of looting in many cities. In Philly, a 24-Year-Old Looter was Killed While Trying to Blow Up an ATM. And the unrest continued it’s spread across the Atlantic to London and Paris, where riot police used tear gas as and faced off with protesters setting fires in the city of blights.

Esper takes aim at Trump

Defense Secretary Mark Esper has broken ranks with Trump. Esper said during a press conference that he opposes invoking the Insurrection Act to allow President Trump to use the U.S. military to quell the violence plaguing US cities. It seems the insurrection here, as far as it comes to Esper, is an insurrection against Trump. I hope he’s got his resume updated, cause something tells me he’s not long for wacky administration. 

Hurricane season kicks off with a bang

Let’s see, we’ve got a pandemic that everyone seems to have forgotten about and thousands of really pissed off people protesting and looting in American cities. What else do we have to throw into the mix? How about a potential hurricane making a possible bee-line for New Orleans. Tropical storm Christobal formed in the southwestern Gulf of Mexico on Tuesday and is expected to meander, hat in hand, toward the U.S. Gulf Coast late Sunday or early Monday. It’s still a crap shoot what the storm’s intensity will be once it hits the US gulf coast. 

Biden gains more delegates

While no one was looking, Presumptive democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden swept all seven presidential primaries yesterday. It’s a big win for Biden, who has no opposition, but we won’t draw any attention to that. These wins put Biden just short of the 1,991 delegates he needs for the nomination. Uncontested primaries next week in Georgia and West Virginia should put him over the top. 

Risky and frisky pandemic sex

If your having sex during the pandemic, it might be a good idea to put a bag over your heads. Well, at least wear a face mask. According to a study from Harvard University, the safest way to have corona-sex is wearing a mask over your puss. It’s probably also a good idea to use a condom.  Some studies have also shown that coronavirus traces have been found in men’s semen. Oh hell, just get yourself a tarp. Maybe those wacky furries were actually on to something. 

Alligators are rioting too

Holy sea cow, now the rioting has spread to the alligator community. A woman in Fort Myers, Florida was shocked that the pounding on her front door had nothing to do with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, it was two gators duking it out in all their amphibian glory. According to the Fort Myers News Press,  one of the gators had his snout pinned on her door while fending off it’s rival. A video of the whole sordid alligator fisticuffs was posted to Facebook. Of course, that link is available on today’s overnight underground dot com web page. 

Remember the camera is always hot

Always assume the mic and in this case the camera is on. According to the Daily Mail, a Mexican senator got caught during a zoom meeting with government officials when she assumed the camera wasn’t loaded. Martha Lucia Micher let it all hang out while changing her blouse during the video meeting and everyone got an eyeful of Martha’s t—-, b—-, p—-, ah you know.   The senator blames the faux pas on her lack of computer knowledge and needing a few extra dollar bills.

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

Trump gets his wall. Apple Store looters get a surprise. Rioters in LA target bagels. Are you ready for the comie radio network and stormtroopers police social distancing.  

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

It seems Trump may finally have gotten his wall after all. Video of the White House today shows that a larger perimeter fence has been installed around the entire Presidential crib. The Secret Service says they are just reinforcing security around the White House and have told Fox News it’s just an expansion of the perimeter. I say, look no matter how high they make the damn thing, a mesh fence just can’t keep us safe from Trump. But with any luck, it might be enough to keep him locked in his cell, ah bunker until November 4th. Maybe de Blasio and Cuomo could join him there for jello wrestling or something and keep these three retards busy until after the elections. 

Apple bricks looted computers

Looters who grabbed computers from Apple Stores are in for a surprise. It seems that the computers and i-devices snatched by lootie are bricked junk. TMZ reports devices swiped from the Apple Store are demo machines rooted with applications that prevent the devices from being reset to factory settings. Yea, they are essentially useless, overpriced electronic  paperweights. To make matters even worse for lootie, the devices are also being tracked. Maybe get some tee shirts made up that say, “I looted an Apple Store today and all I got was a thousand dollar paperweight.”

Rolex store looters get big booty

Rolex is probably thinking it’s too bad they can’t brick their watches. The New York Post reports that looters swiped just under two and a half million dollars worth of watches just from one  Rolex store in the SoHo neighborhood of Manhattan. The store, on Greene Street was needless to say, emptied by looters. Two and a half million, that’s what…  two Rolex watches. 

Jewish business targeted in LA

I know, let’s blame this nonsensel on the Jews. The Jerusalem Post reports that rioters hit synagogues and kosher stores up and down the historically Jewish Fairfax district in Los Angeles. The Rabbi Gershon Bess Shul was tagged along with the Congregation Beth Israel, which was graffitied with anti-semitic slogans like the old standby used by anti-semites world wide, “F**k Israel” and “Free Palestine.” A number of kosher deli’s and stores were looted. Hey, looters got to nosh too. 

The FCC are morons

Well here’s some good news. foreign companies can now own American broadcast properties. Yesterday, according to Radio Ink, the FCC voted to allow foreign investment in Cumulus Broadcasting, up to one hundred percent. Cumulus is the third largest owner and operator of radio stations in the US. Sounds like a great idea, allowing ownership of US broadcast properties by foreign entities such as Russia, China and hell, why not North Korea and Iran. Bet they would still play shitty American pop music though.  

Stormtroopers enforce social distancing

I just love this story. At Disney parks, Imperial Stormtroopers will be in charge of social distancing. Following the reopening of parts of Disney World on May 20th, citizens visiting the parks must follow social distancing rules. In a video released by attractions magazine, two stormtroopers can be seen at Disney Springs, blasters in hand ordering visitors at the happiest place on earth to stay the hell away from each other. Of course that video can be viewed on today’s podcast page at overnight underground dot com. 

Mutant ticks take over Russia

Making the list of things that want to kill you today, are mutant ticks. Over in Russia, in the Krasnoyarsk region, they’ve been blighted, or is that bited, by and invading horde of blood-sucking ticks. The Daily Star reports, the new and deadly “mutant” ticks are spreading across the region at a rate of 428 times more than the usual tick infestation rate. I didnt’ even know they had such a thing, a tick infection rate. I don’t know about you, but I’m stayin’ home and locking my doors. In the suburbs of Krasnoyarsk city they are infested with 214 ticks per square kilometer. The normal “safe figure is 0.5.

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast.

Unless you’ve been living in a hole, and well, it’s actually something we here at the Overnight Underground would highly recommend at this point in history, you undoubtedly witnessed either first hand or on the flat screen, the mayhem and lawlessness currently plaguing the streets of America. So maybe you’re asking yourself, just how wide spread is it? Well, Yahoo News reports that the protests by day and riots by night have spread to one hundred and forty cities in the US. But don’t go thinking that this is just an American problem, the unrest is now spreading, like a plague to other western democracies. 

Mayhem Spreads

On Sunday night rioting and looting spread to our neighbors in the north. Montreal witnessed peaceful protesters turned criminals as businesses were looted and police responded with tear gas. According to the Montreal Gazette, eleven were arrested in last night’s melee. Meanwhile in England, This morning a large crowd flying an Antifa flag was chanting ‘fuck the police’ outside Downing Street. (downing) Kind of fun to hear “fuck the police” with a british accent. In New Zealand, an estimated two thousand protesters surrounded the US Consulate in Auckland. So, yea, this is no longer just an American problem. I’m so glad we could get our exports going again. 

Trump calls Governors wimps

The politics surrounding this wanton destruction of businesses and property is sometimes amusing and as usual accomplishes little and appears to only fan the flames of more disorder. The Republicans blame Antifa and the Democrats blame white supremacists and each other and the cities burn. The President had a phone call with nation’s Governors Monday morning and the great orange one called out many of the Governors for being, well, pussies. Trump spent part of last night dominating the secret bunker in the basement of the White House. 

Amnesty calls US Po Po bad

And here’s a funny story, Amnesty International is calling for an end of militarized police response to the protests. Axios notes the group has issued a statement calling for an end to militarized policing in U.S. cities and the use of  what they call “excessive force” against demonstrators. Look, I agree with you on this, militarized police is an issue and a really, really bad idea. But damn, cities are burning, private property is being looted and destroyed and the approach of “we feel your pain now go home cause mom and dad love you and have stocked your basement with fresh Doritos” just doesn’t appear to be working. Right now it seems like the plan is to let the rioters loot until there’s nothing left to loot, and then they’ll just give up. Not a very cunning plan. 

Air Force Base Shooting

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, comes news of a shooting at the Grand Forks Air Force Base. Newsweek reports two are dead following the shooting at the dorms. The incident is still under investigation. It’s good to know that during these troubled  times, it’s comforting to have something American’s are familiar with,  like a mass shooting.

Mouthwash could kill you

Here’s something random and completely unrelated. Using mouthwash after exercising can cause death. The website Science Alert points to a study that using mouthwash after working out can lead to the reduction of  one of the main benefits of exercise: lowering your blood pressure. It all has something to do with the mouthwash killing bacteria ‘key’  opening up blood vessels, hence the hastening of inevitable death. It’s all too damn much science for me after a weekend of looting and rioting, but go ahead and read it if you like, the link of course is available at overnight underground dot com. And yes, welcome to the beautiful planet where everything is out to kill you. 

Say something nice day today

Hey did you know today is National Say Something Nice Day? (good luck) Maybe we could try some phrases like: “That’s a lovely black block outfit you have on” or “Thank you for sharing your lootie loot with me.” So, come out of your lockdown, and go get your free stuff from your friendly neighborhood get and split, and for god’s sakes, say something nice. 

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

How to tell the difference between rioting and protesting. The spread of unrest unsettles a nation. Trump and Twitter take off the gloves. Kim Jung Un battles sex and a new meaning for the term, dead letter office

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Looting and Burning day three

If you’ve been paying attention, it now appears that burning and looting is quickly becoming a new national pastime. Protests and riots spread across the US last night from their epicenter in Minneapolis. In the Twin Cities looting, burning and general mayhem trumped the rule of law, as angry and lawless citizens continued their revenge against the police and their city over the death of George Floyd. The National Guard rolled into Minneapolis Friday morning following a night that saw more buildings, businesses and a police station in flames and curiously the arrest of a CNN broadcaster. Meanwhile, according to NBC host Craig Melvin, NBC has banned it’s reporters from using the word ‘riot’ to describe their coverage of the Minneapolis happy fun time party happening on that city’s streets. 

As the soldiers rolled in to protect firefighters Friday morning, the rioters and protesters appeared to mostly call it a day and blended back into the shadows of a city in cinders. Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, although he might consider changing his name to Jacob Fail after three days of conflagration and anarchy in Minneapolis.

Protests and riots spread

Protests and rioting spread in the US to New York City’s Union Square, Portland, Denver, Louisville and Columbus, Ohio where the unrest targeted the Ohio Statehouse, with rioters  smashing windows and gaining entry to the building before police turned them back. In Louisville, seven protesters were wounded from gunfire. Chances are it’s not going to be a pleasant weekend in America. I’m not sure what all this rioting and looting is supposed to accomplish, it’s never solved anything in the past and arguably has only made many racial issues in the US even more volatile. In the end all the violence and lawlessness may only lead to a political knee jerk to the right for safety and rule of law,  and the reelection of Trump. 

The Trump Twitter showdown continues

Trump Tweeted his reaction to the unrest in the country and the post was first flagged by Twitter and later hidden by the Twitterati for quote, “glorifying violence” and breaking the twatter terms of service. The twort from the Prez drew criticism, come on, he attracts criticism like a fly to shit, for allegedly being insensitive to the situation in Minneapolis and calling for violent action against looters. Yesterday Trump signed an executive order targeting social media, and Twitter in particular for regulation from the government over what The President see’s as censorship of the right on the platform. The real sin here is no one, on the right or left, is really talking about free speech, just more regulation from the government, specifically to section 230 of the so-called communications decency act. That law and section allows online platforms to ‘moderate’ user content and at the same time avoid the liability of being a publisher.  All that being said, let’s face it, this whole ‘social media’ thing was an incredibly stupid and delusional idea in the first place, it’s turned into an endless fountain of vapid  flowing bullshit. 

Waters blames Trump

California Congresswoman Maxine Waters told TMZ on Thursday that she places the blame for the killing of Floyd Geroge in Minneapolis squarely on the shoulders of President Trump. That should garner Waters’ a few more votes in her district.  

Reporter’s revenge

The next time you think it would be fun to jump in front of a reporter’s camera while they’re  doing a live-shot and shouting whatever the hell you want, you might want to think again about your cunning plan. An Illinois man was busted after allegedly grabbing a TV reporter during a live broadcast and yelling “F–k her right in the p—y,”  The New York Post reports that WGN-TV reporter Gaynor Hall was giving a weather update when 20-year-old Eric Farina ran in front of the camera, grabbed hall and uttered the phrase that must be beeped. Farina was charged with battery and disorderly conduct and later released on a twenty five hundred dollar bond.

Kim Jung Un sexy man

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has moved on from his war against the Sea of Japan to a war on sex. According to The Express, the North Korean dictator believes that there is a problem with “immorality” among the country’s teenagers, and is declaring their “impure acts” to be treasonous. Kim is peeved over the alleged behaviour of sex craved teenagers and is blaming “decadent capitalist influences”, including pornography that has been smuggled in over the Chinese border. In the words of Patrick Henry, “If this be treason, make the most of it” 

Dead letter office

Talk about the dead letter office. A woman in Montana is claiming that the remains of her dead husband are lost in the limbo of the postal system. Christine Tyler told KTVQ News that her husband died from coronavirus in a Spanish hospital and now she’s trying to track down her husband’s Donald’s remains which she says appear to be lost in the mail. Maybe Donald is secretly infiltrating the postal system to commit dead letter voter fraud. 

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, now the headlines: 

More rioting in Minneapolis and protests in LA & Memphis. Troubles for democracy continue in Hong Kong. The Trump Twitter wars begun they have. GE turns out the lights & bears like doughnuts, who knew!

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Minneapolis burns

The second night of unrest in Minneapolis sure looked like a bonafide riot. Angered over the death of George Floyd at the hands of the Minneapolis PD, protesters turned into rioters and looted a Target, burned down multiple buildings including an auto parts store and a low income housing project. Business owners brandished firearms to protect their stores from looting and at least one shooting death has been reported. According to a reporter from the Star-Tribune, the shooting death allegedly involved a pawn shop owner shooting a looter. So what’s next? Probably the National Guard. The Minneapolis Mayor reportedly has asked Governor Tim Walz to deploy the Guard. The Governor has yet to publicly respond to the request. It’s unfortunate, but some people just want to watch the world burn. 

LA squirms

On the left coast, protesters in solidarity with their brethren in Minneapolis shut down the 101 freeway and smashed windows on a CHP patrol car. One person was injured when he fell from the hood of a patrol car as it sped from the scene after being mobbed by demonstrators. The Protesters later dispersed and it was all over by six thirty, no arrests were made. NBC Los Angeles also reported further protests in downtown LA later in the night. Protests also took place in Memphis, and arrests were reportedly made there. According to Fox News, President Trump has ordered the FBI and Justice Department to investigate the death of Floyd. What a year 2020 is turning out to be. I don’t even want to think about what’s next. 

Hong Kong on the skids

On the other side of the globe, things are not much better. Unrest boiled over in Hong Kong following the Chinese government rubber stamping the new Hong Kong security law. The new law authorizes the commie pinko Chinese government to prevent, quote: “secession, subversion, terrorism and foreign interference” in the formerly semi-autonomous city. The new law pretty much officially ends the  “one country-two systems” rule in the former British colony. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Wednesday that Hong Kong is no longer autonomous from China. (captain obvious) So what’s next? Possible sanctions imposed by the US on China and in the end, an erosion of Hong Kong as a financial hub as investors see the city as being a risky place to invest. 

The Twitter wars begun they have

The Trump Twitter war continues again today. Following the companies “fact checking” of Trumps twats yesterday, the President said he is set to announce an executive order to ‘regulate’ social media platforms. Yea, good luck with that. (Byte-airplane-tell you boot good luck were all counting on you)  The President Tweeted this morning, (What the hell we supposed to do you moron), that today, quote: “will be a Big Day for Social Media and FAIRNESS!” You know if he holds a press conference and starts demanding the government liberate compuserve, we’re all flucked. A leak of Trump’s alleged executive order has shown up on social media, that link is of course, available at overnightunderground.com. 

Facebook’s Zuckerberg just had to get in on the action too, telling Fox News that private companies shouldn’t be ‘the arbiter of truth’. Seems to me that Fakebook may not want to be the arbiter of truth but it sure looks like they would love to become overlords of their own little de facto internet. 

In other amusing Twatter news, Newsweek is reporting that Twitter’s head of site integrity compared Trump’s senior counselor Kellyanne Conway to the Nazi government’s Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels in a 2017 Tweet. I wonder if the department of site integrity will fact check that one? Twitter head of site integrity, talk about the propaganda pot calling the kettle black. 

Joltin’ Joe Biden ain’t

Here’s our audio sound byte of the day, and it’s a quickie. It comes to us from presumptive democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, mixing up his sports analogies. It’s a swing and a punt for Biden. 

Turn out the lights

After over a hundred years of GE is getting out of the light bulb business. Ars Technica reports that GE is selling off its last consumer-facing business. The Wall Street Journal notes that the deal is valued at about two hundred and fifty million dollars. All this begs the questions: Does General Electric still do or make anything electric? And what about their promise of bringing good things to life? 

The Hot Pocket bank heist

Most people breaking into a bank to steal the money.  Like famed bank robber Willie Sutton once said when asked why he robbed banks, “Because that’s where the money is.” News 10 San Diego reports that a man apparently broke into a Wells Fargo bank Wednesday morning just so he could heat up his Hot Pocket sandwiches. That’s the alleged perp talking with a News 10 reporter as he was led handcuffed from the bank. You know, you just can’t make this shit up. 

Donuts and bears oh my

How did police in Fort Myers, Florida trap a black bear that was roaming the downtown streets of the city? According to the News Press, why with donuts of course. The po po used their trusty supply of Krispy Kreme’s to lure the bear so wildlife biologists could nab the fury perp. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Officer Adam Brown. I could go for the low hanging fruit here and point out that it was a black bear, so the cops could have just shot him or choked him out, but I won’t. 

Check out this episode!

The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines: 

Death and riots in Minneapolis. Protests and tear gas in Hong Kong. Twitter and Trump are playing a game of twitter chicken.  Prostitutes face coronavirus restrictions. Squirt gun baptisms and getting bit by a black widow won’t give you superpowers. 

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Minneapolis goes nuts 

The video of a Minneapolis Cop kneeling on the neck of a handcuffed man next to a police car is honestly just too brutal to watch. Especially when you consider the man, gasping and pleading with the police for breath, died following the callous treatment by the cops. The Star Tribune reports that four officers have been fired following the death of 47-year-old George Floyd. Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey. Twenty four hours following the death of Floyd, on the streets of Minneapolis police and protesters clashed within a mele of bottles, rubber bullets and tear gas. A police precinct and multiple police vehicles were trashed in the rioting. The sound of protesters breaking shit recorded by KMSP TV. The FBI and Minnesota state authorities are reportedly investigating Floyd’s death. 

Hong Kong’s not so quiet riot

Meanwhile on the other side of the planet similar scenes played out on the streets of Hong Kong with clashes between pro-democracy protesters and police. That’s the sound of Hong Kong police breaking shit and shooting pepper guns at protesters. The BBC reports hundreds of people were arrested as Hong Kong citizens took to the streets to demonstrate against a proposed Chinese national security law. Some Hong Kongers compared the scene on the streets of the city to marshal law, with stop and search checkpoints set up in the city and riot police taking a zero tolerance stance. Chief Executive and Beijing mouthpiece Carrie Lam doing her best to assure Hong Kong’s citizens that the Chinese commies are just well meaning really nice guys.  Chinese authorities have said that they will act against foreign interference in Hong Kong and state run media has called US threats of sanctions  a quote, ‘nothingburger.’  Wouldn’t a nothing noodle be more apropos? Speaking of burgers, according to the South China Morning Post, Chinese authorities have shut down a WeChat conspiracy social media account claiming the US was using dead bodies to make hamburgers. The world just gets a little stranger and scarier every single day. 

Trump and Twitter spar

Twitter and the Prez are still going at each other again today. For the first time Twitter added a  ‘Unsubstantiated’ warning to two of President Trump’s Tweets. On Tuesday, Trump twatted that supplying voters with mail-in ballots would be, quote: “substantially fraudulent.” Twitter flagged the posts  awith a warning that Trump was making a quote, “unsubstantiated claim.” Trump’s campaign manager released a statement criticizing Twitter’s policy. And so it goes, this should sell a lot of popcorn.

Prostitutes get Covid restrictions

Well we didn’t see this one coming. In Switzerland sex workers will limit customers to two positions which will allegedly ‘minimise the risk of transmitting coronavirus.’ According to the Daily Mail, the guidelines will only include sex positions which allow for safe distances between faces and the washing of bed sheets between each customer. That sounds like a lot of loads, of laundry. We’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. 

Squirt gun Baptisms are a thing now

Last week we had the story about the priest using a squirt gun to bless parishioners during holy week. This week, a priest in the US  is using a water pistol to baptise an infant. And you know, from the twatted picture, you can tell that Father Flatsky, or whatever the hell his name is, has some range time under his cloak with a pretty good weaver stance. Another priest in Canada has kicked it up a notch, it appears he’s using a super soaker for infant baptism. I’m sure Republican Jesus does indeed approve.

Cosmic donuts

Astronomers have captured images of a donut-shaped ‘cosmic ring of fire’ that existed some eleven billion years ago.  According to the study published in the journal Nature, the ring of fire cosmic donut galaxy formed when two separate galaxies smashed into one another. Think of it like a kind of cosmic copulation or an intergalactic t bone. 

Paging Peter Parker

OK dumbass, having a black widow spider bite you will not give you superpowers. According to Telemundo, three Bolivian brothers were hospitalized after prodding a black widow spider with a stick to get the nasty little bastard to bite them. Of course, they all thought the bite would turn them into Spider-Man, silly boys, we all know that it only works with a radioactive spider. In fact, the black widow bites turned them into crying twits writhing in pain. To make a long story even longer, the trio spent close to a week in the hospital recovering from the spider bites. 

It’s a poopy burger stand

In Clearfield, Pennsyltucky Billy’s Burgerland is taking some sh*t for opening up the restaurant and resuming dine in service. WJAC reports a man threw a bottle of sewage at the restaurant in retaliation for reopening.  According to the owner of Billy’s Burgerland, a man asked one of the waitresses if they were in compliance with the CDC’s guidelines and then threw a mountain dew bottle full of sewage and replied let’s see if you get any customers now. Maybe they could change to Chinese food and start serving poo poo platters. Besides, someone told me the place might be a dump anyway. Hey I’m here all week, try the veal.

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